


Why Didn't I Know?

by peachbunny



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, basically me trying to make sense of that Beautiful MV, so...a lot of angst?, with a slightly nielwink take
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-02 10:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachbunny/pseuds/peachbunny
Summary: Daniel has spent almost his entire lifetime trying to find his family and Jihoon has spent the same amount of time trying to move on from his; but for the moment, they make do with the only family they've had for the past few years - each other.(Based off the Beautiful MV and Prologue)





	1. Prizefighter

_ All he could recall was the blur of the bright city lights, the shock of pain shooting through his veins with each pulse, the dull whir of a speeding motorcycle, the smell of cheap fabric conditioner on a denim jacket, and the wind whooshing past a tunnel. _

 

_ If this was death - it felt awfully low-class. He had wanted to go peacefully, surrounded by his friends in his old age after accomplishing all his hopes and dreams. In that moment, he dared to imagine what it would be like to have a family, a real one - a better one than the one he lost and chose to forget.  _

 

_ There was a slight ringing in his ears so he figured that maybe he just lost a match, and the only thought that filled his head was that he wasn’t able to hold up his end of the deal with Daniel.  _

  
  
  


****

  
  
  


Jihoon was a prizefighter, and the way the lights on the ring shone on him bathed him in a glorious golden light. He had lasted through all three rounds of his third bout - his small build never could bring about a knockout against his sturdier competitors - and the coach was confident that the boy would win the vote so he stood there with a half-concealed smug grin. 

 

Daniel believed in his best friend, but these matches always had him on edge. He clutched the water bottle tightly in his hand and had a white towel around his neck, prepared for the bell to ring so he can go to the corner and hand them to Jihoon. So far he looked fine - form crouched in his guard position and bouncing lively even as his opponent was hanging back. The same opponent had underestimated Jihoon before the bout started - taking in his short frame, small hands covered in black wraps, and hair freshly dyed a musty gold. 

 

“You look like a lover, not a fighter,” the taller man had sneered, picking on Jihoon’s hair, “Coming in here looking like a wee angel peeled off a chapel painting.” 

 

Daniel had put a hand on Jihoon’s arm to restrain his friend - he knew how quickly Jihoon got worked up over small arguments like this. 

 

“Hey, bud,” Daniel countered, stepping inbetween them and tipping his head to the boxing ring. “If you got a problem, how ‘bout working it out up there?”

 

“And remember this face,” Jihoon added, cracking his knuckles. “Because this angel’s about to give you hell.”

 

The opponent laughed and spat on the side before walking off - sure that he would have Jihoon’s pretty face down on the mat in seconds. What he didn’t account for was how agile the boy circled around his opponents, throwing uppercuts and jabs in quick succession before throwing his entire weight with a strong right hook directly on their head. 

 

As the referee approached, Daniel felt a mix between pride, relief, and worry. Jihoon may look composed up there, but Daniel was the one in charge of taking care of him when the payout was in their pockets and Jihoon’s bruised body was covered in comfortable oversized pullovers. The cheering audience would see the cracked lip, the black eye, but they wouldn’t be around when Jihoon’s frame was laid out on his small bed, black and blue with bruises; the boy barely unable to get up the morning after a match, and how Daniel would do a rundown of checks throughout the night to ensure there were no delayed concussions.

 

The referee raised Jihoon’s arm, signaling him as the winner - and the boy shot Daniel a quick wink and a slightly pained grin. Daniel climbed up to their corner as soon as the bell rang, Coach already congratulating Jihoon and ruffling his hair. Daniel hands him the towel and squeezes the bottle of water into his mouth. 

 

“You asshole,” he smiled at his friend, who only had one eye open at this point. “How will that jerk recognize your angelic face when you let him thrash it and make you look like Jaehwan?”

 

This earned him a sharp smack on the back, with Jaehwan and Jisung climbing up as well to give their congratulations.

 

“I personally think Jihoonie looks like a Daniel right now,” Jaehwan countered before turning to Jihoon. “That was amazing! First you were like  _ fooh  _ then he went  _ pwahh- _ ”

 

“Ah, but look at you, Jihoonie - this’ll need a quick visit to the clinic,” Jisung tuts, using his hands to inspect the boy’s jaw and taking out a first aid kit. 

 

“ _ Aaaang _ , I got this, hyung,” Jihoon laughs, wiping his face with a towel and wincing as the adrenaline wore off and he started to feel where exactly he was hit. “Daniel’s got some ice packs and some medicine back home from the last bout - we’ll manage.” 

 

“Go rest, Jihoon,” Coach gave one last pat on Jihoon’s shoulder. He had told the boys over and over to drop by a clinic after bouts, but Jihoon had kept insisting that he felt fine and that home remedies worked. “I’ll have Woojin training next week so you can take a break.”  

 

Coach handed a thick envelope to Daniel before he left. “Here’s his cut, make sure this golden boy takes it easy for now.” Daniel nods and thanks Coach before joining his hyungs who were treating Jihoon’s injuries before they all got ready to go home. 

 

*******

 

Jaehwan and Jisung bid the two goodbye as they headed off to their respective jobs - Jaehwan for his nighttime bar gigs and Jisung for his shift at a convenience store. Daniel had one arm around Jihoon and his other hand clutching a bag filled with Jihoon’s jersey and the first aid kit. 

 

They passed by their usual route, and Daniel slacked as they passed the motorcycle store. Daniel was never one to hide his emotions well, and he was practically drooling over the big blue bike that was on display.

 

“Gawking over her won’t make her yours,” Jihoon said, gesturing towards the display.

 

“As if I’ll ever have enough free cash to spend on a bike?” Daniel tried to scoff but it ended up sounding bitter.

 

“How much did we get this time?” Jihoon asked, face covered in antiseptic and bandages and a cold pack against his cheek. 

 

“ _ You, _ ” Daniel emphasized, “got 400,000 won.” 

 

“ _ We, _ ” Jihoon replied coolly, “got 400,000 won.”

 

When Daniel puts on that pout of his, Jihoon tries to shake his head but ends up groaning in pain. “We talked about this Daniel,” he started, aiming light jabs at Daniel’s arm. “I’m nothing without you - who’d take care of my sorry ass after it gets beat up after the matches?”   
  
“How about not getting your sorry ass beat up there in the first place,” Daniel grins, putting his arms up to  _ spar _ with Jihoon. “You’d be a smaller target if you stopped eating so much.” 

 

Jihoon landed a light hit on Daniel and the two continued laughing, until Jihoon winces in pain and Daniel had to catch him. “Easy,  _ angel _ , can’t have you dying on me until I get my money’s worth out of you.” Jihoon’s hunched over figure looked vulnerable under the orange lights of the streetlights versus the stance he projected inside the ring. 

 

“All you can feed me is ramyeon, I haven’t had proper meat in ages,” Jihoon looks at Daniel. “If I eat any less I’d shrink to Daehwi’s size. How ‘bout we celebrate next week with some of that cash?”

 

“I thought you were saving up for the next enrolmen-” 

 

“School can wait, we deserve a break.” Jihoon’s eyes trail off. Daniel looks at his friend thoughtfully - he knew how much Jihoon wanted to put himself through school. Prizefighting was going to be paying for his tuition at a local highschool, and a way to help Daniel gather enough funds to cast a wider net in searching for his family.

 

They had made a pact when they were kids at the orphanage - Jihoon was going to graduate from college and become a pilot or a doctor or both, and Daniel wanted to be reunited with his family. Daniel felt nostalgic as the two walked the rest of the way home in silence. 

  
  
****  
  
  


 

_ Daniel met Jihoon for the first time when Daniel wanted to pray extra hard to get his parents back. Maybe the chapel was closer to God and He would be able to hear him better, so he ended up walking to the eerily quiet chapel on his own one afternoon.  _

_  
_ _ The afternoon sunlight streaked in from the windows, revealing the dust motes that swirled around. The stained glass of the windows colored the pews in varying hues of red, blue, and yellow; falling serenely on a small boy who was kneeling at the far end of one of the pews.  _

 

_ Jihoon was a quiet child who had entered the orphanage and spent his days in the chapel - all the other kids couldn’t seem to pull him out to play games in the afternoons. Daniel was newer than the smaller boy, but after being alone for a few days, the welcoming boys reminded him of family and his older brother. He ended up relishing the attention and the playtime he was afforded, and it reminded him of home. Daniel fit right in and quickly became everyone’s friend.  _

 

_ Jihoon was a different story. The other boys whispered that maybe Jihoon came from an abusive family and was probably afraid of everything - thankfully, none of the boys bullied him and left him alone to his prayers in the chapel. Despite all the rumors and whispers about little Jihoon, Daniel marched over with his hands in a formal praying position.  _ __  
_  
_ __ “Hi, I’m Daniel!” 

 

_ The boy beside him turned with a start, standing up to reveal knees red from all the kneeling.  _

 

_ “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be praying over here.”  _

 

_ Jihoon looked like he wanted to run away right then, but ended up scooting over to give Daniel some space to kneel.  _

 

_ “Hey God, it’s me, Daniel,” the cheerful older boy started, eyes closed tightly. “I hope Mom, Dad, and hyung are eating lots of kimbap and aren’t worried about me, and I hope I find them really soon.”  _

 

_ He opens an eye to look if Jihoon was still beside him. _ __  
_  
_ __ “Oh, and I hope I get to play with Jihoon, he looks like a lot of fun.”

  
  


****

 

 

A 30 minute walk and five flights up a rickety staircase later, Daniel dropped Jihoon onto an old sofa and switched on the light.

 

“Gimme that, it’s already warm,” Daniel puts out a hand in front of Jihoon’s face and the latter hands him the pack that he was using to ice his face. Daniel replaced it with a new one straight from the refrigerator. The muscle pain was already creeping in and Jihoon wanted nothing more than to take a very quick shower and let the tiredness lull him to sleep. 

 

Daniel walks to the bathroom in the old apartment - there was a shower head in the same square meter as the toilet seat. He put down the seat cover and turned on the water to check the temperature, and jumped at how cold it was. He tried turning the knob to get hot water, but after a few minutes waiting for it to warm - he realized that the landlord forgot to turn on their heat again. 

 

“That old geezer doesn’t deserve the rent,” he whines, scratching his head. The four of them paid the rent diligently, each one chipping in to afford the apartment five floors up in one of the tighly packed sidestreets of Seoul. “We don’t have an elevator, and now we don’t even have warm water,” he walks over to the plastic electric kettle they had in the kitchen. “You’ll have to make do with  _ gradually-produced _ hot water, Jihoonie.”

 

“Oh, the perks of being me,” Jihoon was now sprawled over the sofa and had his eyes closed. “How I’d love to have that landlord in the ring sometime. Y’know - give him a reason to want hot water himse-”

 

“ _ You have zero missed calls. _ ” an electronic voice interrupted.

 

“Ah, sorry,” Daniel apologized softly as he took his hand off the landline phone button. Jihoon lifted his head to stare at Daniel. The boy always felt melancholic about his family around this time of the year - the anniversary of when he lost them. The only reason they kept a landline was in case someone saw their older posters lying about. 

 

Jihoon could never tolerate Daniel when he was sad. The older boy couldn’t keep any emotion hidden; it was as if his face was crafted to be an extension of how he felt. When he was happy, he was ecstatic - but when he was sad, it broke Jihoon’s heart. And there were already too many things broken about Jihoon for Daniel to be one of them. 

 

“Ya,” he throws the ice pack at Daniel. “I asked Sungwoon-hyung to print some more of those posters, they won’t hang themselves in public places, you lazy ass.”

 

Daniel’s eyes moved to underneath the coffee table they had in their makeshift living room - true enough, a stack of posters with Daniel’s childhood photo with his brother was there. Jihoon spoke rough, but Daniel knew he meant well. “You’re well enough to throw ice packs around, you can probably tolerate a cold bath,” Daniel grinned. “But thank you, I’ll hang them up once Jaehwan-hyung gets home.”

 

“ _ Aish _ , seriously?” Jihoon fakes surprise. “You’re going to leave me at the mercy of Jaehwan-hyung? Can’t wait until  _ Jisung-hyung  _ is back? How badly do you want me dead, Daniel?” 

 

Daniel laughed amidst Jihoon’s protests, pushing the boy to lie back down and gently massaged his muscles to make sure they weren’t extra sore the following day.

 

“If I wanted it badly enough, Hoonie,” he said simply, applying pressure on Jihoon’s shoulder blades. “I can crack your back right now.” 

 

“Let’s see you try,” came Jihoon’s muffled voice against the pillow, in between groans of pain and relief.

 

 

****

 

 

 

_ The two boys became fast friends after the first encounter at the chapel. At first, Jihoon trailed behind him like a duckling - doing everything Daniel tried out. Daniel had to hold Jihoon’s little hands in his just so the boy would go to different places.  _

 

_ Since he didn’t talk much, Daniel let Jihoon listen to the cassette tape he brought around with him: it was a few dance tracks that his mom had recorded. They were songs Daniel and his older brother would dance to before, and Daniel listened to them often so he wouldn’t forget how it felt to play around in their living room as his mom made dinner and his dad finished some paperwork in the dining room.  _

 

_ At the orphanage, the memory-heavy track was further overlaid with memories of running around with little Park Jihoon - the two would claim the merry-go-round for themselves and invent dance numbers for the tracks on the cassette, which they would teach their friends to dance to as well. When Jihoon was feeling extra mischievous, they would go to the outdoor clothesline and punch the drying sheets - they pretended that they were superheroes fighting evil villains; or professional MMA fighters with lots of adoring fans. _

 

_ Daniel was surprised at how rambunctious Jihoon really was when he finally managed to get him to play with the other boys. The group of boys would run around everywhere and managed to get dirty even when they were indoors. The caretakers at the orphanage loved them all, but everyone knew they were all little pains in the ass.  _

 

_ Their group of friends was a tight-knit bunch, but slowly, most of their friends got adopted into foster families. Minhyun was the first to leave them - the older boy crying and handing out his telephone number, promising to keep in touch. After that, the other kids got adopted one-by-one - with the four of them being the only exceptions.  _

 

_ Jisung was already too old and the adoptive parents preferred younger children; Jaehwan flat out refused to get adopted; Daniel kept telling his prospective parents that he was not up for adoption and was just looking for his family; and little Jihoon was just troublesome.  _

 

_ The four ended up sticking together as they grew up and had to leave the orphanage, taking odd jobs to support themselves. Their caretakers from the orphanage occasionally pitched in to help them out; but aside from that, they somehow managed to scrape by on their own.  _

 

_ “Daniel,” Jihoon had said the day they packed their bags to leave the orphanage, his beautiful eyes blown wide, “I don’t think I can take losing another home again.”  _

 

_ Jihoon looked terrified then, his hands clenched so tightly into fists that his knuckles were turning white. Daniel was reminded of how afraid he was when he wandered for days looking for his family on his own. At least he had a family - he knew they were out there somewhere. But for someone like Jihoon -  _

 

_ “I’m here.” he simply said, putting an arm around the younger boy. “I’m right here.”  _

  
  
  


_ **** _

  
  
  


As Jihoon had requested, their entire friend group had agreed to meetup at the rooftop of Daehwi’s apartment building. Daehwi was adopted years before by a well-off family, and often hosted their get-togethers. 

 

“ _ He’s coming! _ ” Daehwi trilled excitedly over the phone, and Jihoon had to cover both ears as he sat up on the sofa. 

 

“You’re on speakerphone, Daehwi,” he complained, pressing a warm compress against his right arm. 

 

“ _ Well hello to you too, Jihoon-hyung _ ,” came the reply. “ _ I’m just beside Minhyun-hyung, he won’t be too pleased that quiet little Jihoon turned out to be a grumpy old man _ .”

 

“I’m only nineteen,” Jihoon complained before Daniel interrupted. “Hi Minhyun-hyung!”   
  
_ “Ah, is that Daniel?” _ came the soft voice of Minhyun from the background. Daehwi had passed him the phone. _ “Daniel!”  _

 

“Minhyun-hyuuuuuung,” Jaehwan screamed into the phone on the table. 

 

“ _ Not you, Jaehwan - but fine, I missed you too _ ,” Minhyun’s laugh echoed around the room. “ _ But I’ve got news for Daniel! _ ”

 

“We’ve got news for you too, Minhyun-hyung,” Daniel smiled at Jihoon, who had passed a highschool entrance exam a few days back. “But let’s celebrate it this weekend?” 

 

The line went quiet for a few beats before Minhyun responded, “ _ It will definitely be a celebration this weekend, then _ !” 


	2. Reunion / Separation

“Daniel,” Jihoon nudges Daniel awake in the middle of the night.

 

“Mmhm,” Daniel’s half-asleep, half-awake and can barely speak with his mouthguard on.

 

“Hyung.” Jihoon calls again, nudging harder at Daniel. He rarely calls Daniel  _ hyung  _ (“Because he’s a brat that’s why” Daniel would tease), so the older boy is alerted that something’s up.

 

“Dishashter level?” he asks with a huskier-than-normal voice, words hardly intelligible as he doesn’t bother to take out his guard.

 

“Dragon.” Jihoon answers – which was code for ‘I just had a bad dream, can I sleep on your bed?’ The two had come up with code words for just about any scenario, all of them based on games or comics, and none of the other hyungs understood half what they were talking about.

 

Daniel doesn’t ask (he’s tried asking too many times, and Jihoon never answers), he just scoots closer to the wall and lets the smaller boy lie down beside him. Jihoon gets nightmares so often that the whole thing felt routine – except that they started when they were both barely four feet tall and now both were too wide to comfortably sleep side by side on the small bed.

 

“We need to get you better covers,” Jihoon noted, sidling up against Daniel. “It’s been Spiderman for the past five years.”

 

“Jush go to shleep, Hoonie,” Daniel mumbles, pulling up his covers. “Nexsh time I won’t let you shleep here.”

 

But Daniel could never deny Jihoon – not when he has heard him whimpering through the night so many times across the years, wishing he knew what the boy was seeing in dreams.

 

On his part, Jihoon was thankful. Daniel’s warm back against his didn’t guarantee that the dreams won’t come – but he felt a little better knowing that anytime he decides to wake up, he won’t be alone.

 

Not this time.

 

***

 

Jihoon wakes up on the floor – which was common because Daniel slept like  _ a maniac  _ – and he swears one day he’ll take a video just to prove to Daniel that he was “pushed” off and did not simply “fall” off.

 

***

 

Jihoon and Jisung were to go ahead the afternoon of the party, Jihoon’s prize money wrapped in a bundle of old envelopes and Jisung looking positively like a proud parent. They were off to secure Jihoon a slot in the next intake of highschool enrollees, their combined earnings enough to meet the placement fee. 

 

“Don’t mind the few years age gap with your dongsaeng classmates - you’ll fit right in, Hoonie,” Jisung almost coos, fixing the collar on Jihoon’s shirt. Jihoon was already a couple of years older than his peers - but his would-be classmates probably didn’t have to get beat up at fights to afford their tuition.

 

“How can he not? He looks fresh out of kindergarten,” Jaehwan grins, ruffling Jihoon’s hair and earning himself a quick slap on the cheek. 

 

“But he’s a scary toddler,” Daniel adds, laughing as he walked out of the bathroom while brushing his teeth. “Look at all those bruises, he looks like a delinquent already.”

 

“Ya!” Jihoon protests, slapping his hyungs with the envelope of cash. “We’re just securing the slot, I won’t meet any classmates until classes start in a few weeks.”

 

Jihoon was nervous and excited at the same time, and his hyungs were doing nothing for his nerves by joking around.  

 

“Ok, ok,” Jaehwan ushers them out of the door. “Just make sure to arrive at Daehwi’s on time later - and don’t forget the ice cream!” 

 

When they had left, Jaehwan motions to Daniel. “Remember that homemade food place that Guanlin’s family owns?”

 

Daniel nods.

 

“Well I got some coupons for some chicken,” Jaehwan produces said coupons from his jacket, “And I decided to take my favorite dongsaeng with me.” 

 

Daniel couldn’t hide his delight. 

 

“We can drop by later! I just need to hang some of these posters at some police outposts. Meet you there by 6?”

 

He then realized that he was dealing with Jaehwan here. 

 

“So...you only have enough coupons for two?” Daniel suddenly started talking in a hushed tone, as if the two that just left could still hear him.

 

“...yes, but-”

 

“Are you sure you just didn’t take Hoonie because he eats every bit of the chicken?” 

 

“...yes.” 

 

“ _ Favorite dongsaeng _ my ass,” Daniel extends his arm to high-five Jaehwan.

 

Daniel and Jaehwan exchange knowing glances and start laughing out loud. 

 

***

  
  


It was 7:30 PM when Daniel finally arrived at the shop. 

 

Daniel did not count on the rain. “ _ Great,”  _ he thought, shoving the posters he had in his hand under his jacket. “ _ Now I show up at the party looking like this _ .”

 

He was at the last stop, the chicken place Guanlin’s family owned - a small restaurant run by a Taiwanese family who had immigrated to Korea years back. After a bunch of misunderstandings at immigration and difficulties navigating the streets of Seoul, the family had lost their son - Guanlin - who ended up temporarily staying at the orphanage. Guanlin was a quiet child - almost as quiet as Jihoon - but Daniel soon realized that it was more of a language barrier than anything else. Once the boy had enough vocabulary to play, he was a laughing, screaming mess. 

 

It was a whole two years before they were reunited, and Daniel remembered the look on the Taiwanese family’s faces. He wondered if that’s what his family would look like if - no,  _ when _ \- he found them. Guanlin was his success story: if the boy was reunited with his family, surely Daniel could be too? 

 

He could see the familiar bright blue trike parked up front, so he was sure that Guanlin wasn’t working a shift that night. He was probably already at the party. Daniel looked around for traces of Jaehwan, but Daniel figured that his hyung might have gone ahead. He checked his phone and found a message, _ “Used your coupon too - better luck next time, Niel-ah~” _

 

Daniel looks up. He wishes the rain would lighten up so he could at least make a mad dash for Daehwi’s place before everyone finishes the food. 

 

_ “ _ Aish, just stop already _ ,” _ he starts talking to himself. 

 

He then felt a pair of eyes trained on him, and that’s the time he notices. There was another man taking shelter from the rain at the shop - and he was looking at Daniel funny. The man had jet black hair and was drenched with rain, and an unreadable expression on his face.

 

Daniel’s first instinct was to ask the guy if he had a problem: the man looked like he had seen a ghost. He saw that the man wasn’t looking at him directly, he was looking at the pile of posters on Daniel’s hand. 

 

Daniel looks at the posters he was holding - now wet with rain - and then saw that the man held a bunch of fliers as well. 

 

Fliers with Daniel’s face on them. 

It takes him a second that felt like an eternity.

 

He’d had dreams how this moment would happen - maybe they’d find him at the orphanage, maybe the police would come to tell Daniel that they found his parents, maybe he would receive a phonecall one late night. In his dreams there were tears, laughter, hugs and kisses, pats on the head, warmth, the sound of his old cassette playing in the background. Daniel was mentally prepared for the moment he would be reunited with his family; imagining himself in Guanlin’s shoes from many years before.

 

“H-hyung?” 

 

“Daniel?”

 

_ But none of those dreams compared to this moment _ , he thinks as he crashes into his long-lost brother in a hug, Seongwoo-hyung hanging on tightly to him. They barely exchanged words in shock, and they stood there staring at each other and laughing. Neither of them could help the tears that came with the laughter. 

 

 _This moment is infinitely_ _better_.

  
  


***

  
  


Needless to say, everyone at Daehwi’s rooftop was shocked when Daniel showed up with Seongwoo - both drenched by the rain but neither the worse for wear. Minhyun in particular couldn’t stop laughing at the coincidence - he had known a few days prior that the two boys were related but didn’t think serendipity would beat him to the punch. 

 

Seongwoo and Minhyun were fast friends in highschool, trying to save each other’s asses in solving for differentials and graphing equations for calculus, but it was only when Seongwoo opened about his missing brother a few days back during a lunchbreak that Minhyun put two and two together - he knew both the Cha brothers. 

 

He wanted to tell Seongwoo right away - but decided that he could make it a surprise. Since he was meeting with the orphan squad (“Are you really naming us Orphan Squad, Minhyun?” Sungwoon had scoffed back then, but the name stuck anyway) over the weekend, he figured he could invite Seongwoo as well.

 

What he didn’t count on was the two brothers meeting before he could even make the introduction. 

 

***

 

Jihoon was beyond thrilled to meet Seongwoo. And it wasn’t just him - everyone in the group unanimously agreed that they were thrilled to meet Seongwoo. They have all seen Daniel happy - but this was different. The joy was infectious.

 

They all traded stories - it’s been a full year since the ten boys from the orphanage had been complete. Coach finally let Woojin try out for an amateur boxing league after ages of just being a trainee. Guanlin was back from a vacation in Taiwan and had pineapple cake for everyone. Minhyun and Seongwoo just finished applying and taking exams for the National Police University. Jinyoung and Daehwi joined the same dance class in school. Sungwoon’s printing business was doing well.  Jihoon has successfully passed the exams and paid the placement fee - he would be a highschool freshman in a couple of weeks’ time.

 

But most importantly, Daniel was going to meet his parents again. 

Jihoon watched as the two brothers huddled together away from the rambunctious crowd, where Jaehwan had begun belting out “Never,” a song he apparently heard on TV. The brothers had a LOT of catching up to do, so Jihoon pockets the motorcycle gloves he got Daniel that afternoon. 

 

He could give it some other time. 

 

Jihoon looked up at the sky above them - a million stars twinkling. Twinkling just for them - a group of boys whose futures were finally looking up. 

 

***

Jihoon stood at the doorway as Daniel packs his bags. “Anything you want from Busan, Jihoonie?” Daniel asks inbetween stuffing pairs of clean underwear into his backpack. 

 

“Does this mean you’re moving there?” Jihoon replies with another question. Daniel pauses for a bit. The past few days have mostly been him catching up with his older brother, and he was relieved that there was no awkwardness between them: it was as if the two had never been separated. 

 

He looks at Jihoon, who was leaning against the doorway and wearing a loose gray pullover. Jihoon was nearly an adult now, broad shoulders and rough speech betrayed by an angelic face; but Daniel looked at those sad eyes and all he could see in front of him was a scared little boy who was all shy whispers and small hands. The same boy who would always touch his face in the mornings just to make sure he was still there.

 

“It’s only for a week. Eomma will eventually move here to Seoul once she gets a bit stronger,” Daniel smiled, patting Jihoon on the shoulder. “I bet she’d love to meet you and the others.”

 

Jihoon smiled weakly. “Bet’cha she’d like me even more than her original son,” he joked, sitting down on Daniel’s bed that was opposite his. 

 

“I’m happy for you, hyung,” Jihoon continued, playing with the Spiderman pillowcase he had in his grasp. “But now you need a new dream, or else I’m the only one left struggling to chase mine.”

 

“A new dream, huh?” Daniel mused, taking a seat near Jihoon’s feet. “I never even thought beyond ‘find my family’,” he admits, resuming to stuff clothes into his bag. “Maybe I’ll become a celebrity?” 

 

The two stare at each other before laughing out loud. “What, you mean like an  _ idol _ ?” Jihoon stamps his feet at the absurdity of Daniel’s suggestion. Even Daniel couldn’t visualize it. “Hey, a man can dream,” he defends half-heartedly. 

 

“I’ll let you know if Korea’s looking for an idol who laughs everytime I scratch my eyebrows,” Jihoon stands and puts a hand out to help Daniel up. “That’d be the day,” Daniel responds as he takes Jihoon’s hand and rises.

 

“Safe trip to Busan,” Jihoon opens his arms to hug the taller boy. The longest they’ve been apart was a day, and if he were a few years younger, Jihoon would’ve begged to come along. Daniel leans in and embraces Jihoon, handling him like he was precious and delicate - the smaller boy shocked that it wasn’t their usual quick hug. Daniel rests his head on the crook of Jihoon’s neck and Jihoon struggled not to cry. 

 

Daniel’s voice was comforting when he addressed what the younger had been worrying about for days, “I’ll be back before you know it, Jihoon.”     

 

***

 

The first night without Daniel was the hardest.

 

Jihoon woke up with a start, bullets of sweat rolling down his face. The same dream. He quickly looks around, prepared to crawl over to Daniel’s side of the room and nudge his huge hyung awake. 

 

He finds the bed empty, with the familiar Spiderman sheets stretched taut and pillows stacked neatly in a corner. He suppresses the urge to cry and run to the next room to where Jisung and Jaehwan were sleeping soundly. 

 

It’s ironic how Jihoon can punch his way against bigger opponents, but his worst fears are the small, silent moments in the night. He gulps down a whimper and climbs onto Daniel’s bed, surrounding himself with pillows and blankets. He rolls himself as small as he could and shuffles into a corner. 

 

The sheets smelled like warm cotton and peaches and Daniel, and Jihoon shuts his eyes tight - willing himself to fall asleep and forget how it was to be alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "HOLDS JIHOON*   
> It seems this fic may be longer than I expected! Drafted out the entire story and it might run for around 6 chapters :') 
> 
> Also Jihoon looks so handsome today at Music Bank I am blesst
> 
> Please leave kudos if you are enjoying the story so far! Comments are extremely appreciated too so I know if the pace is just right or if I'm dragging the events out too much xD


	3. Broken

 

Jihoon practiced his cross against the heavy bag, listening to Coach shout instructions at Woojin who was sparring in the middle of the ring.

 

“Punch like you really want to hurt the guy!” Coach’s booming voice echoed across the near-empty gym. Jaehwan and Jisung were scrubbing away at the gym’s toilets – they mostly worked in exchange for Coach training Jihoon, but Jihoon felt that they genuinely enjoyed watching boxing matches so they hung around.

 

“Stop pulling your punches!” Coach’s voice was exasperated. Woojin was an amazing fighter – his weaves and dodges were topnotch – but whenever he connected, he never put full force into them. He had once confided to Jihoon that he didn’t want to _actually_ hurt anyone. Jihoon had rolled his eyes.

 

Woojin was adopted early – the family was an old couple who missed having a child around. Kid Woojin’s infectious energy and fun-loving personality was just what the doctor ordered for a couple of empty-nesters, who had their hands full trying to manage the boy. Since they were the same age, Woojin still regularly dropped by the orphanage and played often with Jihoon – the two would play pranks on their friends or the caretakers, and Jihoon would occasionally come over whenever Woojin celebrated his birthday party.

 

When Jihoon started boxing, Woojin had begged his adoptive parents to let him train as well. The two boys were excellent with their footwork and punching the heavy bags – but when it came to actual sparring, Woojin lacked the ferocity that seemed to come naturally to Jihoon.

 

“Exactly who are you imagining when you punch like that?” Woojin asked after he finished sparring rounds with Coach. Jihoon ignored the dull sting that rose in his chest, the memories of his half-forgotten family bubbling up in his mind, and lied, “No one in particular. I just think of how many orders of chicken I can win if I punch hard enough.”

 

“You pig,” Woojin teased, faking a left hook at the side of Jihoon’s face. Jihoon faked insult and retorted, “At least I don’t have coach shouting at me all day for punching like a baby.” Woojin was prepared to reply, but stops and bows when Coach approached the two.

 

“Where’s Daniel today?” the Coach asked. “I thought that huge child wanted to start training?”

 

“He’s off with his long-lost brother,” Jihoon answered, flexing his fingers as he finished wrapping his fists.

 

“Long..lost…are you shitting me right now, Jihoon?” Coach stared at him, incredulous.

 

“It sounds like a soap opera gone wrong, sir, but it’s true,” Jisung arrived, plunger still in his hand, with Jaehwan in tow. “Daniel’s reunited with his family.”

 

As expected, the usually gruff Coach just gives a short, “huh” and tips his head toward the ring. “Then Jihoon goes for another round. Back up there, Jihoon.”

 

The blond boy tucked his blue gloves under his arms and climbed back up the ring.

 

*

 

Jihoon punches and ducks and weaves as Coach shouted instructions at him on how he could improve his form, how he could hit harder, and punch faster, faster, faster. Jihoon could hear the words but he didn’t understand - his mind was elsewhere.

 

To be completely honest, his mind was in Busan: picturing Daniel finally enjoying the life he had wanted from the very beginning, with the family he belonged with. Jihoon wonders what the heavens were thinking when they tore Daniel from his family and delivered him into the midst of a group of equally lost boys.

 

Maybe it was because Jihoon prayed hard enough back then to apologize for everything wrong he did. The heavens probably got tired of the apologies that they sent an angel to tell him that maybe it wasn’t his fault. Maybe he can enjoy living life.

 

Maybe Park Jihoon was meant for something more than waking up alone in his house at six years old, with only an old blanket and a bag of canned goods - waking up to the realization that his mother had left him, that he was all alone in the house, and that no matter how many hours he spent praying at the corner on his knees, his mother wouldn’t come back. The social workers would find him days later, skinny and sick, and the next thing he knows he’s at the orphanage and he knew nothing but to pray for his mother to come looking for him.

 

She never did.

 

So he stopped hoping when Daniel comes around, and Jihoon latched onto him like a lifeline sent by the heavens.

 

But Daniel was no angel - Daniel was a scared kid who wanted nothing more than get his family back. Jihoon had no right to him.

 

So Jihoon throws his punches like he wants to throw away the feelings he’s been trying to push away from his thoughts.

 

With each punch he imagines he’s taking out all the thoughts that he didn’t dare hope for, because Daniel deserved so much more than broken little Park Jihoon -

 

He is precious to me.

 

I want us to reach our dreams together.

 

I want him to always be by my side.

 

I love him.

 

I love him.

  


_I love him._

  
  
  


 

***

  
  
  


“I’m happy for them,” Jihoon pouted.

 

“Happy is not a synonym for jealous,” Jaehwan teased, throwing a potato chip at Jihoon.

 

“Say that again and I’ll make ‘Kim Jaehwan’ a synonym for ‘dead in a ditch’.” Jihoon threw a book at the laughing Jaehwan.

 

“Ya, it’s okay Hoonie,” Jisung tuts, picking up the book and the potato chip. “You still have two out of three hyungs to pick you up after your fights.”

 

“Daniel doesn’t even _count_ as a hyung,” Jihoon huffed.

 

“You barely count as a dongsaeng,” a voice came from the doorway.

 

“Daniel!”

 

“I’m gone for a few days and I’m getting trash talked already?” Daniel walked over and dropped his bag beside the coffee table. Jisung gave the taller boy a pat and a pinch on the cheek, and Jaehwan put his guitar down to give Daniel a big hug.

 

“We missed your teeth-grinding at night,” Jaehwan teased, sitting back down and putting his feet up on the table. “We were already thinking of renting out your bed if you didn’t come back.”

 

“Jihoonie over here has been moping since you left,” Jisung pointed to the smaller boy who refused to budge and greet the new arrival.

 

“Was not.” Jihoon scoffed, eyes glued to the rhythm game he was playing on his phone.

 

“ _Aish_ , Hoonie,” Daniel smiled, plopping beside Jihoon on the old sofa. “I’ve been gone for a week and you didn’t miss me?”

 

“Nope.”

 

The three older boys exchanged glances and were all trying to keep from laughing. Jihoon acted tough and talked big most of the time, but their maknae was still a child.

“I showed my eomma your picture, Jihoonie,” Daniel ignored how Jihoon was trying to make an effort to mope a bit more. “She said you were very handsome. When I told her that you boxed she was so proud! But also worried!”

 

Jihoon nearly smiled. He liked it when he was called handsome, but more so when people thought he was cool. He concentrated hard on the screen in front of him to supress the smile.

 

“ _Aigoo_ ,” Daniel cooed, putting both arms around Jihoon and confiscating the phone he was holding.

 

“Ya, give it back,” he protested, reaching out to take the game back. “Give it back you huge cow!”

 

“Aaaaand they’re at it again,” Jisung commented, heading to the kitchen to prepare some snacks. “Jaehwan, come over here to help.”

 

Jaehwan reluctantly stands up, bringing his bag of potato chips with him. “Ey, how come I’m the only one who has to help~” he complained, dragging his feet.

 

Daniel locked his arms around Jihoon, who flat out refused to look at him. “Let’s go out, Jihoonie,” he chided, as Jihoon tried to kick free off the embrace. But Daniel was stronger and managed to pull the sulking Jihoon up.

 

Daniel kept making those cute faces with the pouts and repeats, “Come oooon, Jihoonieeee,” so many times that Jihoon relents.

 

“Alright, let’s go out so I can beat your sorry ass to oblivion,” Jihoon conceded, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to break out on his face the moment Daniel had walked into the room. He grabbed his coat and started to head out, Daniel cheering behind him.

  


The moment they hit the street, Jihoon turned around with fists up to keep true to his promise.

 

“I won a lottery in Busan,” Daniel grinned before Jihoon could punch, barely able to contain the news. For someone like Daniel, just keeping that a secret for all of the five minutes he’s been in the house was already a feat.  


Jihoon stared blankly at Daniel as the older waited expectantly for a reaction. “Say what now?”  


“I won 2 million won!”  


A smile immediately broke through Jihoon’s face despite his resolution to ignore Daniel for the rest of the day. “Are you fucking kidding m-aaaagh!” he shouted, laughing as Daniel gave him a hug and lifted him up, twirling the smaller boy around. Daniel dropped Jihoon suddenly and continued laughing, running quickly away as the younger chased him, shouting all kinds of profanities.  


They ran across the streets and got some disapproving stares from older people as they barely missed pedestrian crossing lights before Daniel made an abrupt halt in front of a clothing store. Breathless, Jihoon delivered a swift punch to Daniel’s arm before looking up.

 

“A School Uniform store?”   


“You’re welcome?” Daniel breathed, massaging the arm Jihoon just punched.“Can’t have you looking like you only own hand-me-downs from the three of us when you start school.”  


“Last time I checked, it’s because the only clothes I do own _are_ hand-me-downs?” Jihoon raised a brow, wiping his neck as they cooled down from all that running. “They’re fine, they fit perfectl-“   


Daniel dragged the protesting boy in.  


A few minutes later, Jihoon steps out of the changing room, wearing a nice ensemble comprised of a crisp white shirt, light gray slacks with a matching gray coat, all rounded off with a sharp blue tie. Daniel even handed him a new pair of black sneakers to try on while he was at it.   


“I’ve never felt so... _un-poor_ ,” Jihoon gaped at his own reflection on the mirror, having to turn around a few times to admire how nice it looked to have clothes that actually fit him.

“How does it look?”  


“Like you were meant to wear it,” Daniel grinned, leaning an arm against Jihoon’s shoulder. “Say goodbye to Park Jihoon, bratty thug-baby – and take a good long look at Park Jihoon, soon-to-be successful college graduate.”

  
Jihoon looked up to see his and Daniel’s reflection, and for a moment – he let himself cherish it. Buying school uniforms with Daniel –- his friend, his brother, his _everything_ – felt ridiculously normal. He willed his eyes to capture the moment perfectly, lock it in his mind, remember how it felt to have Daniel’s warmth supportively behind him.

  
Like having a family.   


 

*  


 

“Celebrating your last full day as an out-of-school youth at the billiards hall?” Jinyoung mused, picking up the cue ball and staring at Jihoon.   


“I’ll probably have homework starting next weekend,” Jihoon complained, but everyone knew he was looking forward to life as a student. “Don’t miss me too much, Jinyoungie.”

 

Jaehwan, Jisung, Jinyoung, and Woojin were standing around the table they had rented as Jihoon took back the cue ball from Jinyoung and positioned himself across his friends.  


“Daniel-hyung’s taking his time,” Woojin noted, partly annoyed at the fact that he had to sit out while the other boys played a 2 vs 2 match. “We can be three against three by now. Why is he always late?”  


“Don’t act so surprised,” Jisung replied. Jihoon hit the triangle in the middle with a loud clack, and the boys gathered around to see how many balls went into the pockets.

 

“That boy would be late to his own wedding,” Jaehwan continued, frowning as team Ji-Ji took the lead on their game.  


“He said he had a huge surprise for us,” Jihoon added, giving Jisung a high five. “Probably found another missing family member.”   


The boys exchanged glances and burst out laughing. Woojin said, “Stop being so jealous of Seongwoo-hyung, Jihoon,” he laughed. “Green eyes isn’t exactly a good look on you.”   


“For the nth time, what’s there to be jealous about?” Jihoon countered, poking with Woojin with a cue stick on the ribs. “I pity Seongwoo-hyung for having shared the same womb as that childish hyung. It’s a good thing they’re family and we’re just friends.”   


The last line tasted bitter on the tip of Jihoon’s tongue, but he bit his cheek and gulped the feeling down.  

 

Just then, he noticed a group of rough looking men all clad in black enter the pool hall. The men had been talking in whispers outside the building when Jaehwan and Jisung were going up, Jaehwan catching wind of some illegal activity from their conversations. The boys had waved it off since the group didn’t look like they would enter the cheap little billiard hall - but the presence of the men-in-black now was disconcerting to the regular youthful clientele of the establishment.

 

Jihoon was used to their type - he’d come up against thugs in the ring. They were all bark and no bite, and were generally just pains in the ass who liked acting tough. Woojin leaned in to whisper, “Mafia’s here,” and chuckled. Jihoon smirked and gave Woojin a pretend-scared expression.

 

But when Jisung leaned to angle his shot and accidentally bumped one of the guys, the atmosphere turned tense right away. Jisung was apologetic, smiling and bowing a few times for interrupting the man, but this only earned him a rough shove.

 

In retrospect, Jihoon should’ve let it go and asked his friends to leave and find another hall. But the man shoved Jisung a couple more times - Jisung-hyung, who cooked Jihoon’s meals and took care of Jihoon and made sure he won’t be late for school tomorrow by setting a curfew - Jihoon found himself walking over.

 

Woojin tried to intervene - the way Daniel would have if he were already in the same room- but everything happened too fast.

 

The man tried to punch Jisung only to be blocked by Jihoon, and earned himself a hard cross directly on his face. Without the wraps on his hand, Jihoon felt the crush of bones and the bite of teeth - and he knew he’d need bandages for his knuckles later on.

 

Then all hell broke loose.

 

***

 

Daniel was smiling, cruising down the highway on his new motorbike to get to the regular billiards hall. He remembered the bike rides he would share at the orphanage with Jihoon - who usually rode at the back seat and refused to pedal because his legs weren’t long enough. And so Daniel ended up pedaling up hills and across the orphanage grounds, telling Jihoon that someday they’d be riding Ducatis and racing motorbikes - and Jihoon agreed that it would be cool.

 

He stopped at the street outside the billiards area, lights illuminating an ongoing scuffle. The billiards hall wasn’t exactly a reputable one, but it was a bit too early for the rowdy drunken fistfights in the tiny alley. Daniel wrinkled his brow as he wondered if his friends were safe playing billiards upstairs, and he’d have to text Woojin that he was already downstairs, just waiting for the rabble to clear.

 

Daniel froze when his headlights illuminated the last person he wanted to see involved in this.

 

“Jihoon!” he shouted, taking off his helmet.

 

Jihoon’s blonde head turned to him, blinded by the sudden light in the alley, a vague recognition on his face - when one of the men in the fight delivered a kick to his back and another man threw a punch right at his head. Everything happened in slow motion and Daniel didn’t know how everything registered completely in his mind - the way Jihoon couldn’t punch back and his strong right arm hanging almost limp on his side, the rest of their friends trying to hold up on their own at the sides, Jihoon falling down to the ground helplessly as the men in black descended upon him like a pack of hyenas.

 

Without second thoughts, Daniel jumped off the bike and ran into the mess.

 

***

 

 _All Jihoon could recall was the blur of the bright city lights, the shock of pain shooting through his veins with each pulse, the dull whir of a speeding motorcycle, the smell of cheap fabric conditioner on a denim jacket, and the wind whooshing past a tunnel._ _  
_ _  
_ _If this was death, then - it felt awfully low-class. He had wanted to go peacefully, surrounded by his friends in his old age after accomplishing all his hopes and dreams. In that moment, he dared to imagine what it would be like to have a family, a real one - a better one than the one he lost and chose to forget._ _  
_   
There was a slight ringing in his ears so he figured that maybe he just lost a match, and the only thought that filled his head was that he wasn’t able to hold up his end of the deal with Daniel.

 

_“Stay with me, Jihoon, stay with me, come on, don’t you dare leave me,” maybe he was hearing things now, imagining himself leaning against Daniel’s back, but he was glad that if these were indeed his last moments - his brain was letting him hear Daniel’s voice above the noise._

 

_Then everything turned black._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it all goes downhill from here DUN DUN DUNNN I am not used to writing angst BUT HERE WE ARE
> 
> Special shout out to Roe who beta'd Chapter 1 and this chapter~ 
> 
> We'll get Daniel's POV next (through an OngHwang side chapter hehe) and Jihoon's feelings may not be as unrequited as he thinks!  
> Please stay tuned and leave comments/kudos~ they mean a lot and motivate me to continue with the story :3


	4. Three Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A side chapter from Ong's POV!

If life was made of small moments that were either super good or extremely bad; Cha Seongwoo swore that his life could use a little good to go with all the bad. The bad luck seemed to have started that night their family made a silent exodus out of Seoul to move to Busan – he learned much later that their father owed someone a lot of money, and whoever that someone is wasn’t too glad that they payments were coming in too slow. There was a threat on his father’s head that night, and since they had no more money to pay for their house’s rent; it made sense to just leave.   
  


The realization came a little too late that they would not just leave a house, but they would also lose their home.    
  


When Daniel was left behind, the family tried in vain to search for the boy in Seoul – but the pressure and the risk of staying became too much. All the family could do was pray that Daniel was safe; and that they would find him no matter what, no matter how much time passes.   
  


And so through the years, Cha Seongwoo kept his head down, crying only in the quiet evenings because he didn’t want to burden his already depressed parents with his own sadness. What he would give to see them laugh again – he lost a brother, but what hurt him the most was how he watched himself lose his parents as well, right before his very eyes.    
  


God knows how hard Seongwoo _ tried _ . Tried to make them laugh, tried his best not to be a burden, tried to lift up the family so that Daniel had a happy home to come back to. Daniel’s brightness and bubbliness did not come naturally to the more reserved Seongwoo, but he was resolute in bringing back some of that joy.   
  


It was one springtime when he was 16 that his father slipped at a construction site in Busan and broke his hip. Seongwoo had to quit school for a while and take on the role of the breadwinner, dragging his small frame to the site and begging the foreman for some work. He would lift huge bags up and down flights of stairs – all hard labor on a growing boy’s body. He survived through the fatigue through sheer will and the determination to keep the Cha family afloat.    
  


During those dull moments when he has nearly reached his limit, Seongwoo recalled the story he used to read his younger brother: one about a genie who would grant three wishes.   
  


If he had three wishes, he knew exactly what he wanted:    
  


To become a policeman, find his brother, and find happiness.    
  


 

***   
  


One. 

( _ I really, really wish I could get my brother back. _ )   
  


“I’ll get there, I’ll get there eventually,” Seongwoo groaned over the phone, readjusting his hold on the stack of posters he had. “Minhyun, when have I ever failed you?”    
“Are you going around tacking those posters again? The one with your brother?” Came Minhyun’s voice over the line. He could faintly hear a rambunctious group of boys as background noise.   
  


“Yeah,” Seongwoo replied, running to the nearest establishment to take shelter from the rain. “Forecast today didn’t warn me that it was going to rain.”   
  


“You’re still using that old photo? The one from when you were kids?” Minhyun continued asking. “I don’t think that’s how he looks like now.”   
  


“Well, it’s the best I got,” Seongwoo said, now getting annoyed at Mr. Perfect trying to point out that he had no common sense. “It’s not like I was in Seoul a decade ago to start posting these when Daniel still looked like a child.”    
  


“No need to get cranky, Ong,” came Minhyun’s voice using his nickname, and Seongwoo swore he would strangle the taller boy when they finally do meet later. “Can’t have you scaring my friends when you meet them later.”   
  


“You’re an ass sometimes,” Seongwoo answered, finally finding refuge at a small chicken shop with a blue delivery bike in front. “I don’t even know why I have to meet these friends of yours – are you trying to hook up one of them with the most eligible bachelor you know?”   
  


“Can’t do that, they already know you’re mostly a pain in the ass,” Minhyun teased. “Just…just come, okay? You wouldn’t want to miss this for the world.”    
  


“Yeah, sure – but you owe me, Emperor.” Ong grinned. Minhyun hated the nickname but that was what all the girls in their class called him. He clicked a button on his phone to end the call, and tried to shake off some water from his drenched shirt. Based on Minhyun’s directions, he was already close by to where the party was – but he’d have to wait the rain out.    
  


He suddenly noticed a tall boy running for shelter at his exact same chicken store. The boy tried to peek in the store – he seemed to be looking for someone inside, but failed to find them. Seongwoo wanted to commiserate with the boy, make a lame joke about the weather and bad luck, but then the boy spoke in a familiar tone.   
  


“Aish, just stop already,“ the boy utters, and for a minute Ong thought it was directed at him - and then he saw what the tall boy had in his hands.    
  


Ong was stunned as the boy looked back at him cautiously. All he could do was stare at the boy – the posters, the way the kid moved, the mole below his right eye – he looked almost like -   
  


“H-hyung?” 

 

“Daniel?”    
  


Seongwoo didn’t really believe in genies or wishes.    
  


But that night, one of his three wishes came true.   
  


  
  


***   
  


 

Two. 

( _ If it’s not much of a bother - I wish to be a policeman when I grow up. So I can find my brother. _ )   
  


 

Seongwoo watched as his huge little brother came trotting up the train station with a huge backpack and that familiar goofy smile on his face.   
The two boys could hardly contain their shared excitement – Daniel was only a few hours away from being reunited with their parents.    
  


“You think they’d recognize me, hyung?” Daniel smiled as they took their seats on the train to Busan.    
  


“Are you kidding me? It’s like someone performed a freak operation and glued your child’s head onto that freakishly huge man-body.” Seongwoo replied, leaning his seat back. “I’m more worried you’ll give abeoji a heart attack with the way you look.”    
  


“Ya, don’t be mean,” Daniel gave Seongwoo a light shove as Seongwoo gave him a reassuring smile.    
  


Daniel’s worries were unfounded, and Seongwoo watched his family reunite. Slow, unsure steps from Daniel at first – until both their parents ran to him to give him all the hugs and kisses that he missed through the past ten years. Their mother had worked to prepare a dinner spread worthy of a son’s return, and Seongwoo didn’t think he could ever be this happy in this lifetime. To see their small house turned into a home, to see those sincere smiles on his family’s faces, and to pinch himself and not wake up to his old reality – it was more than he could ever have hoped for.    
  


The minutes together turned into hours, and the hours into days, and pretty soon, it was their last day in Busan.    
  


“What got you to Seoul anyway?” Daniel asked as they were walking back from doing some grocery shopping.    
  


“The construction company I was working for here in Busan was awarded a pretty large project in Seoul.” Seongwoo replied as they slowly walked along a familiar street. “They needed a few more men – and apparently eomma and abeoji were saving up money to send me to school anyway.”    
  


Daniel watched his older brother intently, his hands clutching a bunch of coupons he got from the store.    
  


“So I was able to enroll in a local highschool and work several shifts at the construction site at the same time,” Seongwoo continued. “And the worker’s temporary home in Seoul isn’t bad at all. The pay is even enough for me to make some trips back here to Busan.”   
  


“And that’s where you met Minhyun-hyung?” Daniel asked. Seongwoo forgot that his younger brother knew his friend way before he had.    
  


Seongwoo nodded. He was about to expound on his dreams to become a policeman when they were interrupted by a message tone on his phone. “Hold up,” Seongwoo passed a small bag of groceries to Daniel to fish out the phone from his pocket. “This might be urge- OH MY GOD.”    
  


“What? What!” Daniel was surprised by the reaction from his hyung, who was now holding his phone an arm’s length away. “What happened?”   
  


Seongwoo’s face was frozen in some sort of ecstatic shock as he turned his phone to show Daniel. The younger boy read the message out loud, “Congratulations, Cha Seongwoo for passing the national exam and qualifying for the- AAAAHHHH!!”    
  


Daniel dropped the groceries he was carrying to pull his older brother into a bear hug. “I’m so proud of you!”    
  


“I’m proud of me too!”    
  


“You’re going to be a policeman!”    
  


“You bet your ass I am!”     
  


Daniel dropped his hyung and picked up the groceries. “We should run back home to 

celebrate!”    
  


“Hold on, let me just shoot a message to Minhyu- oh my god, he passed too!”    
  


The two boys ran back home, laughing; both hardly able to contain the good news and looking like a couple of idiots in front of their parents. When they did finally blurt out that Seongwoo passed the national exam and was going to become a policeman, their mother cried for the nth time that visit as she threw both her arms around her two boys and showered them with kisses.    
  


Needless to say, that night was another great dinner.    
  


As the two brothers sat in their room afterwards, packing their bags for the trip back to Seoul, Daniel tapped his brother’s shoulder.    
  


“Hyung,” he said, almost solemnly. 

 

“When we get back to Seoul, I want to start boxing.” 

 

“Hm? Why is that?” 

 

“Well, you remember Jihoon? He may be small and younger than me but he’s a really cool fighter,” Daniel was almost shy for once.   
  
“You sure talk about this Jihoon a lot,” Seongwoo smiled at his younger brother then teased. “Am I supposed to be jealous?”

 

“Of Jihoonie?” Daniel gave a soft laugh. “Well, he was my family when I didn’t have a family, if you know what I mean,” Daniel sighed, leaning back on the bed they were sitting on. “Ever since I met him at the orphanage we stayed at he’d always been... I mean, he’s…” 

 

“Adorable?” Seongwoo offered as Daniel tried to grasp at words. 

 

“Beautiful.” Daniel finished, absent-mindedly stuffing things into his bag. “Precious, even. I can’t imagine life without him.”

 

Seongwoo stared at his brother, and wondered when Daniel got all grown up. Sensing the change in mood, Daniel tried to backpedal. “Ah, what am I sayi-” 

 

“Do you like him?” 

 

There was a pregnant pause before Daniel scratched his neck and nodded. Seongwoo smiled and grabbed his brother’s head toward him. 

 

“Look at you, all grown up,” he muttered, feeling a weird mix of nostalgia and pride. “Tell Jihoonie to quit prizefighting, though. Once I’m a member of the police I can’t just tolerate all that violence.” 

 

“He’s - we’re - just prizefighting for the money,” Daniel defended, then got an idea. “Hey, hyung. I got these weird lottery coupon things from the market awhile ago.” He produced the tickets from his pocket. It was one of those scratch-to-win promos. “Would you mind lending me some of whatever good luck you have right now?” 

 

*** 

Three.    
( _ But really, all I wish for is to be happy. No matter what happens.)  _

 

“He’s going to buy a bike,” Seongwoo laughed as he walked along the school corridors with Minhyun. “And he told me, ‘Jihoonie had always wanted to go for a ride on one of these’.” 

 

“Imagine Daniel showing up in a motorbike at Jihoon’s school,” Minhyun snickered. Readjusting the collar of his shirt.  “Guaranteed to break highschoolers’ hearts when they realize he’s got his eyes fixed on only one boy.” 

 

_ And I’ve got mine fixed on only one as well _ , Seongwoo thought as he looked at the tall boy beside him. Life was finally working out for him, and he finally had enough breathing room to think about himself. What he wanted, whom he loved. At long last he was allowed to be selfish. 

 

“Ah, here’s the class charts,” Seongwoo excitedly ran over to the papers tacked onto the corkboard. He scanned through the list with his name and found it. Class A. He scrolled up to the letter “H” portion of the class list. 

 

_ Hwang Minhyun. Class A. _

 

Seongwoo bounded off the class chart list, laughing and jumping. His shouts were incoherent, so Minhyun rushed over to see his own listing on the class charts. 

 

“We’re classmates!” Minhyun cheered, chasing after Seongwoo with both arms raised. 

 

At first, Seongwoo thought that Minhyun was just nice. They were seatmates in the first math class on his first day, and have been inseparable since. Maybe it was their shared difficulties in  _ finding x,  _ or  _ computing for the area,  _ or  _ solving for the value of y _ \- but over time, Minhyun was the one good constant in Seongwoo’s life that was full of change. 

 

He figured that maybe it was because they both came from broken beginnings - Minhyun had mentioned that he grew up at an orphanage and almost didn’t want to get adopted. When people looked at Seongwoo, they would often have that look on their face; and he knew it all too well: pity. They looked at him like he was unfortunate, and wished him well, but they never treated him like an equal.

 

Everyone except Minhyun. 

 

When Seongwoo was around Minhyun, he could pretend that life was normal even when it wasn’t. Minhyun didn’t probe on his past, or feel bad for him when he had to skip some classes to work at the construction site. He shared notes, made jokes, traded stories, invited him over to hang out. 

He was always there as a friend. 

 

And now that life was looking up - Seongwoo dared to hope for something more.   

 

***

 

Seongwoo decided that the evening was perfect for an ice cream cone. 

 

He found Daniel, he was going to be a policeman, and he will have Minhyun by his side for the next few years. He passed by a little boy playing by the sidewalk, and imagined himself as a child. 

 

He couldn’t believe how things had changed for the better in only the span of a few months. Maybe genies do exist and maybe they do grant wishes. 

 

He checked his watch as he crossed over to a familiar ice cream cone place he had always wanted to try. Daniel had messaged him a few hours earlier - he was able to buy the bike and Seongwoo should come to this totally-reputable billiards place to see it in all it’s brand-new glory. The shop was on the way.

 

Seongwoo grinned as he paid for a cone of vanilla ice cream, and savored it as he lazily walked to the location Daniel sent him. 

 

When he turned the corner, he told himself that he needed to tell Daniel to stay away from seedy areas like this one. He was looking at the aftermath of a really bad gang fight, and if the police came around, people were going to get arrested for disturbing the peace. His common sense told him to turn back and warn Daniel not to come to the area.

 

Only Daniel was in the middle of the entire scene already.

 

Seongwoo dropped everything and ran over, quickly taking in his surroundings. The boys from the orphanage were there, all bruised and beat up. He ran over to where his brother was hovering over a smaller boy: Jihoon in particular looking shell-shocked - bloodied and broken. 

 

“Go,” he pulled Daniel up and helped Jihoon regain balance as well. The boy could not stand and wobbled helplessly, and Seongwoo had seen enough accidents to know that Jihoon had suffered physical trauma. “Daniel, go!” 

 

“Hyu-”

 

The look that crossed Daniel’s face showed how torn he was between taking Jihoon to safety and leaving his older brother in the middle of a mess he made.

 

“Go, or you’ll lose him,” Seongwoo’s tone was pleading. 

 

He watched as his younger brother gingerly put Jihoon on the bike, and he bitterly thought -  _ there goes the bike ride they’ve always dreamed of. _

  
  
  


Maybe everything had just been a dream, and this was him waking up to reality, Seongwoo thought as he heard the sirens and sat there helplessly, surrounded by the unconscious bodies of some thugs in black and his future lying in front of him in pieces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear writing this just feels horrible, whoever wrote the plot for the Beautiful Movie M/V must enjoy pain ;___;  
> I need to write a buttload of fluff just to offload the feels from this chapter...  
> Wrote and posted this entire chapter in one sitting, so there may be some issues with pace or grammar - will fix them if I find the strength to revisit this painful experience! 
> 
> As always, comments/kudos keep me motivated!  
> Next chapter will be the NIELWINK ANGSTFEST please stay tuned and recharge with fluff fics first!


	5. Ringing

_ Jihoon gets up, ears ringing and head throbbing. Something warm was dripping down his forehead and he reached over to wipe it off – only to have his fingers leave his face smeared with blood. _

_ He hears a woman screaming from a distance, the familiar stench of alcohol and smoke, rough wooden floor partly concealed with old linoleum beneath him. He listens as the screaming gets clearer: “I love you, don’t leave me, don’t leave me…” and watches as a gruff man leaves the small house and the hysteric woman tries so desperately to hang on. She crumples into a heap once he leaves the house, door slamming as he went – leaving only her loud whimpers echoing through the four walls. _

 

_ “Eomma…” Jihoon calls, hand frozen in front of him as the blood dried fast. The woman looks up at him briefly, and for a split second, he dared to hope that she would take him in an embrace and tell him that it will all be okay. She crawls over and wipes the boy’s bloody forehead. _

 

_ “Kneel,” she says harshly, voice husky from all the screaming and crying. With a tug on his shoulder she pushes him to face the wall. “Pray and ask forgiveness that you came into this world and ruined your mother’s life. Pray, Jihoon.” _

 

_ Jihoon wants to cry, but the tears won’t come. Maybe they were tired of him, too. He faces the wall and prays – and pretends that the heavens wept for him instead. _

  
  
  


*******

  
  


Jihoon’s eyes shot open as his breathing came ragged - it was the same dream, it had  _ always _ been the same dream - and he wanted to turn his head to look for Daniel. 

 

It was then that he realized that the ringing of his ears from his dream continued into his reality, and his left arm was connected to an IV. He looked around and found Jaehwan sitting uncomfortably on the chair beside him, asleep. The blinds were drawn closed and the room was strangely dark for a hospital care set-up.

 

Just then, Jisung came in and started speaking animatedly. Jihoon knew he was speaking loudly because Jaehwan suddenly sat up, and Jihoon could swear he heard Jisung’s mouth open and close rapidly - but the ringing in his ears was too loud for him to comprehend anything.

 

The memories of what had happened slowly came back to Jihoon as he watched the slow drip of the IV above him. It was supposed to be his first day in school - his uniform was already pressed and ready on top of his bed back at home.

 

And Daniel - Daniel had a motorbike, and a brother who told them to leave.

  
  


***

  
  


“He can’t hear us,” Jaehwan voiced out Daniel’s fear as they waited outside the room. “He had been out for three days and now he can’t hear us.”

 

Daniel was now sitting with them outside, a few chairs down. He had come in from another shift at the convenience store he was working at. Daniel looked tired, with dark circles around his eyes and his body exhausted from the lack of sleep.

 

Jihoon getting a severe concussion was the realization of Daniel’s fears after all that boxing and prizefighting he did - but Daniel didn’t expect the younger to be badly injured at the moment when he wasn’t around to throw in a white towel.

 

“The doctor said he should be resting,” Jisung continued. “No bright light, no strenuous activity, no school. One wrong hit to his head before he’s better could be fatal.” 

 

The three avoided each other’s gaze as they had their eyes to the floor. 

 

“Sorry about your bike, Niel-ah,” Jaehwan mentioned the white elephant in the room. “Hope it was enough to bail Seongwoo-hyung out of jail.”

 

Daniel slowly shook his head but waved it off. “I’m getting there. Should get him out if I work a couple more shifts for the next few weeks. Bike’s nothing - we needed the money for my hyung’s bail and Jihoonie’s hospital bills anyway.” 

 

“To tell you boys honestly,” Jisung sighed, standing up. “Our spare money wasn’t enough for the hospital bills.”

 

The attending doctor approached the three boys as they all rose to hear the latest news.

 

“He’s asking for a Daniel?” the doctor pointed Daniel in as he turned to face Jisung and Jaehwan. Daniel’s heart sank as he walked away and heard Jisung explained that  _ no, Jihoon won’t be attending school this year _ , and  _ we already used up the tuition money for the medicine, we can’t afford one more day in confinement _ .

 

Daniel took a deep breath before entering the ward. He could hear the soft snores from the three other patients Jihoon shared the room with as he walked over to Jihoon’s curtained partition. 

 

“Hyung,” Jihoon spoke a little too loudly, and Daniel hurried his footsteps to put a hand on the boy’s cheek. He made sure Jihoon was looking at him before clearly mouthing, “I’m here, Hoonie.” 

 

“I need to get to school, hyung.” Jihoon’s voice was still a notch too loud, probably to compensate for all the ringing in his ears. “I can’t keep lying down in bed, I feel better already.” 

 

Daniel blinked back tears as he smoothed Jihoon’s hair - the boy’s head had the bad habit of looking like a bird’s nest after just a few minutes of being laid down on a pillow. “We’re getting you out today, Jihoon.” 

 

Jihoon visibly brightened at that, and Daniel could swear he wanted nothing more than for Jihoon to be wearing his school uniform and rushing off to class that instant. 

 

“We can take your new bike,” Jihoon started babbling in excitement, “I bet all the kids would be envious of how I get to class. And coach would probably shout my ear off once he hears I’m taking a break from prizefighting-” Jihoon tried delivering a jab while seated on the bed, only to be met with resistance from the IV drip still attached to his arm.

 

Maybe it was the concussion, but it all came very slowly for Jihoon. He slowly stared up in horror at Daniel, who was trying to keep Jihoon from moving around too much. 

 

_ The hospital bills. Daniel’s expression. Seongwoo left in the streets with bloodied bodies. _

 

“I’m…” Jihoon swallowed thickly. “I’m not…” 

 

Daniel looked at Jihoon with a pitying expression, and kept both of Jihoon’s hands in his own. He’d do anything to keep Jihoon from getting hurt but the way the devastation slowly flooded his beautiful eyes was something Daniel could not stop. 

 

He looked helplessly at Jihoon and answered, “It’s going to be okay, Jihoon. We’re going to be okay.”  

  
  


***

 

“Stop,  _ just stop _ !” Jisung was exasperated. He had chased Jihoon all the way to the gym and the boy just would not listen. “We need to get you home and back in bed.”

 

“We need money,” Jihoon replied quietly. “I can get the money.” 

 

Jihoon was injured still, with bruises blooming across his beautiful features and his right hand tightly wound up with bandages. He had somehow managed to dress himself up that morning in a loose jacket and his training gear, and was able to sneak out while Jisung was preparing breakfast. 

 

“You’re not even supposed to be  _ outside _ ,” Jisung was angry now. 

 

“Frankly, if it were up to me,” Jihoon snarled, “I’m not even supposed to be  _ alive.”  _

 

Jihoon collected his blue gloves and marched gingerly over to the ring before attempting to stuff his injured hand inside one of them. He winced as the pain shot up his arm and he could swear the ringing in his head sang louder. He could see Jisung delivering a litany beside him, but he couldn’t quite understand what he was saying. 

 

_ He doesn’t deserve this, _ Jihoon thought, silently asking for Jisung’s forgiveness.  _ Nobody deserves this. _

 

He walked up to a heavy bag and started his drills.

 

All the money he had saved up for the past few matches was gone. Everything went to the hospital bills - even the nice uniform was gone, with Jaehwan bringing it to the shop to get a refund. Even his hidden stash under one of the wooden floorboards - he had to give that up.

 

To top everything off, Seongwoo was in jail and Daniel had been working his ass off for the past few days to afford bail. After all the investigations, it turned out that only Jihoon and a man who was now in a coma were the only serious casualties of the evening - but Seongwoo was suspended from college and was serving time in jail for his reckless actions. 

 

The guilt was eating Jihoon alive, and he knew he had to make money fast. To make it up to Jisung-hyung and Jaehwan-hyung. To make it up to Seongwoo-hyung. To make it up to Daniel. 

 

So he threw a few more punches and felt his arm and his head throb in pain. The ringing in his ears grew louder and louder, until all he could feel was pain and all he could hear were bells.

 

“Jihoon!”  

 

But there was one voice that cut through all that noise, and he looked up to see Daniel beside a panting Jaehwan. 

  
  
  


***

 

Daniel was angrier than he thought he would be. 

 

He had worked three shifts and two jobs for the past two weeks, had to visit his older brother in jail while reassuring their mother, and now he had to be pulled in by Jaehwan to the boxing ring because Jihoon was throwing a tantrum.

 

To be completely honest, Daniel was at the end of his sanity. He could recall how his brother had sent him off that fateful night so Jihoon could get the medical attention he needed, and he remembered how his brother looked behind the glass - being treated like a criminal by the very profession he wanted to become.

 

“I don’t need to be a policeman anymore,” Seongwoo had tried consoling him earlier. “I only wanted to be one so I can find you.” 

 

Daniel looked up bitterly as Minhyun watched the two. 

 

“And I’ve found you now, so I don’t see a problem anywhere.” Seongwoo smiled, hand reaching out to his younger brother. 

 

“I’ll get you out,” Daniel had promised before rushing off to start his shift, only to find Jaehwan waiting for him at the convenience store doorstep and begging him to help with Jihoon.

 

His blood boiled now as he stared at Jihoon - small, blonde, and broken. One wrong hit, and Jihoon’s body could snap. The doctor had told them as much before making them sign a waiver and allowing them to go home.

 

Daniel did not sacrifice everything he had only for Jihoon to throw his future away.

 

He did not gain a family only to lose the one he loved in turn.

  
  


“What the  _ fuck _ are you doing?” Daniel marched over and gave Jihoon a shove. 

 

“Hey, hey, Niel!” Jaehwan tried to interrupt before he was shoved out of the way as well. “Careful with Jihoo-”

 

“If he doesn’t take care of himself I don’t see why I should,” Daniel growled. 

 

“Can you just leave me alone?” Jihoon shouted back, trying to raise his voice above the din of the ringing that only he could hear. “I’ve got a match coming up, and I need to train.”

 

That may have been the final straw as Daniel grabbed Jihoon by the collar and pushed him up against the heavy bag. 

 

“You think you can go fight up there in three weeks’ time? Punch me, punch me NOW.” 

 

Jihoon prepared his right hook, his best shot, and channeled all the anger he had in one punch - which Daniel catches in his own hand effortlessly. 

  
“That didn’t even hurt, you little shit.” Daniel growled. “How are you going to win anything? You want to be slaughtered up there? You don’t think about anyone when you do this – how about give a fuck about somebody else for once, Jihoon!” Daniel was now furious, glaring straight at Jihoon to make him understand. 

 

“I have a family to take care of now,” Daniel snarled, letting go of Jihoon and shooting him a venomous look. “Maybe you’ll know what that feels like if you--”   
  


“If I WHAT, Daniel?”   
  


“If you ever gave a damn about family!” he spat out. He heard Jisung gasp audibly but paid it no mind. “Instead of always trying to do things  _ your _ way, on  _ your _ own, because you keep trying to forget those parents who left you behind!”

 

The ringing in Jihoon’s ears was loud, louder than the heartbeat that was threatening to burst his chest open - but Daniel’s voice cut across it clear as a knife.

 

“I’m sick of us  _ playing _ house, Jihoon,” Daniel continued. “For years I’ve been trying to get past that thick shell of yours, but if you don’t want anyone in, then fine! Maybe people like you are better off alone.”   
  


Daniel was fuming, glaring at the blond boy before him. 

Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. 

Maybe he hated the way Jihoon’s expression softened and the way Jihoon’s words failed to come despite the younger trying to grasp at anything to shout back. 

 

Maybe he hated the way Jihoon’s heart look like it broke then and there.

 

Jihoon wanted to explain himself, wanted to say something that would make Daniel understand - but he remembered the way his mother begged for the affection of the man she loved, and he had vowed never to let himself ever be that vulnerable to anyone else.   
  


So Jihoon scoffs, putting on a front but the break in his voice betrayed the emotion underneath. 

 

“Don’t talk like you know me.” He turned around and walked away before Daniel can say anything more, before Jihoon broke down completely in front of him. Jihoon walks away briskly, slamming doors as he went before breaking into a run to the boys’ restroom.   
  


He shuts the cubicle door closed and slides down, breath coming in short pants and hot tears rolling down his cheeks as he roughly tried to wipe his face free of them.    
  


“You were my family,” Jihoon’s voice came out soft, broken. 

 

Barely a whisper, but the emotions poured out louder than a scream. He doesn’t know how long the sobs racked through his body afterwards as he bit down on his shirt so no one could hear.

  
  


***

 

“When were you going to tell me all this?” Coach’s voice thundered inside the small room hours later. All the boys were seated on the couch, looking guilty. After Jihoon had left, Jisung, Jaehwan, and Daniel got into a fight with each other and looked as beat up as the day they had a run-in at the pool hall. Even Woojin was pulled into the mess as he arrived that afternoon to break up the fight.

 

“My prized fighter, training with a concussion?” Coach continued, voice shaking with anger. “If you suddenly up and die here, Jihoonie, you’d be my responsibility. Don’t you ever  _ think?”  _ Jihoon’s eyes were bloodshot, but he didn’t make a sound. “I don’t want to see you in here, Jihoon. Get out. Get out!” 

 

Daniel cursed under his breath as he stared angrily at Jihoon’s retreating figure. It wasn’t because he wasn’t angry at Jihoon - he could never be angry with Jihoon for too long - he was furious at what Jihoon was doing. 

 

Jihoon stood up and walked out, slamming the door behind him as he went. 

 

Coach scratched at his neck as he continued the litany with the boys. “Woojin, you’re fighting in three weeks.” 

 

He looked up to see all the other boys guiltily staring at the floor. “You too, Daniel. Suit up.” 

  
  


***

 

Daniel rushed to the police station after his third shift that day. He had finally received his pay for the week, and was able to scrape enough for the second round of bail money. He could get his brother out.

 

He watched as the warden slowly count the wad of cash that Daniel delivered in a tattered white envelope. The warden gave a grunt of disapproval as he threw the money back at Daniel. 

 

“I don’t need your cash,” he drawled, preparing to get up.

 

“Sir, please,” Daniel begged, taking the envelope and stuffing it into the warden’s hand. It felt wrong to hand it this way - like he was bribing the man. But Daniel was all humility. Unlike Jihoon - pride was nothing, and family came first, ahead of anything else. “Please.” 

 

The warden pushed the envelope back into Daniel’s hands, and the boy could feel his own heart drop. He did not work all this time to be rejected by the warden. 

 

“The bail’s been paid in full,” the warden explained, adjusting his belt. “Small blonde came in here this morning. Paid in cash. I’ve already asked your convict to pack up.” 

 

Daniel looked up in shock. “Jihoon?” 

 

“Park something.” The warden opened the door to let Daniel out of his office. “You kids best not be doing anything illegal just for this.” 

 

Daniel remembered the money Jihoon had stored under the floorboards, something he accidentally discovered when Jihoon thought they were all sleeping. 

 

Jihoon’s savings - the money his mother had left him with the day they decided to step out of his life for good.

 

“Oh, and I asked why he was paying if the convict wasn’t his brother,” the warden followed up as Daniel stepped out. 

 

“He’s said he’s doing this for his family.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Jihoon paid the bail before he went to the boxing gym :0 
> 
> Delayed posting this because CHRISTMAS WAS MEANT FOR FLUFF AND LOVE  
>  I really need to end this story soon so I can work on fluffier fics ' A ' I am not good at this whole angst thing ;;;;;
> 
> Last chapter + epilogue to go! Please do leave comments/kudos as they keep me motivated...FINAL STRETCH FIGHTING!!!


	6. Beautiful

“Hyung,” Daniel took his brother in a tight embrace as soon as they met outside the police station. Seongwoo responded with an equally tight hug, a small duffle bag hanging from his shoulders. 

 

It was a rainy night - not unlike the first night they reunited. 

 

“How many times do we need to meet in the rain, huh?” Seongwoo tried to make light of the situation, but the tears forming at the corners of his eyes betrayed the overflowing emotion behind them. Daniel shot him back the most pathetic puppy look he had ever seen on a grown man’s face.

 

“Now, now, we’ll get you your bike back,” Seongwoo consoled, patting his brother on the shoulder, but that only served to make him look even sadder. “You look horrible, come on, let’s make you some porridge at my dorm.”

“I-I didn’t work for the bail, hyung.” Daniel stammered out, sounding like a child who had just broken a vase at home. 

 

A million thoughts raced through Seongwoo’s mind at how distraught Daniel looked. Was his brother forced to do something illegal? Something against his will? Something Seongwoo would never be able to live down? He’d rather walk back in behind those bars than deal with any of those options.

 

“Daniel,” Seongwoo put both hands on his brother’s shoulders and looked him squarely in the face. “Daniel, look at me. What happened?” 

 

Daniel hesitated for several beats before looking down at his shoes. “Jihoon used his life savings to pay your bail.”

  
Seongwoo nearly fainted with relief and his mouth cracked into a small smile. “Then we need to pay Jihoonie back, don’t we?” 

 

“I told him he’s better off alone and without a family.”

 

“You...what?”  

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


_ 3:00 AM. _

 

Jihoon stared at the bright numbers of the alarm clock - the only thing glowing amidst the darkness of his room. 

 

His room that was still filled with the familiar scent of Daniel. He wanted to recall Daniel’s voice when it was warm and comforting and encouraging - but the only thing his brain was coming up was the harsh venom Daniel delivered that afternoon at the boxing gym. 

 

Maybe it was wrong of him to assume that he deserved a family at this point. He envied Daniel and Seongwoo. He envied all the other boys who got adopted. He even envied Jisung and Jaehwan who were in the same boat but seemed happy enough. Was it his lot in life to never feel  _ truly _ at home?

 

Jihoon could feel hot tears on his cheeks again, and this time, he let it fall onto his pillow. 

 

“Jihoonie?” Jisung’s voice came softly from the doorway. He heard the footsteps pad closer and a weight sit beside him. “Jihoonie, wake up. It’s time to take your medicine.” 

 

“Hyung,” Jihoon’s voice came out hoarse and shaky. Jisung’s comforting hand immediately went to his forehead to smooth his hair. “Why doesn’t anyone want me, hyung?” 

 

Jihoon heard Jisung put down the tray of medicines. The way Jihoon’s voice trembled broke Jisung’s heart. He had seen this boy arrive at the orphanage all shy and afraid, watched him grow up with Daniel who tore down the boy’s inhibitions, and saw how Jihoon was still terrified of affection to this day despite the brave front he put on every single morning.

 

“That’s not true, Jihoonie,” Jisung cooed, scooting closer to the smaller boy who was tucked into all his blankets. 

 

“My mother left me to chase after my stepfather. She didn’t think I was worth her time and I was better off alone,” Jihoon replied, feeling more tears come. “Even Daniel-hyung said so.” 

 

He’d never been emotional. But in the dark, in the safety of his blankets, with Daniel’s words ringing in his ears, with his dreams fresh in his memories, and with the frustration because of the persistent dull pain in his head and in his arms - he decided to just let it all out.    

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Jisung whispered softly. “Jaehwan’s here as well. And Daniel, despite all that garbage he said earlier.” 

 

Jihoon slightly felt guilty at being ungrateful.

  
  
  


“Aren’t we family?” Jisung sighed.

  
  
  


“Sometimes, family isn’t the blood relatives you were born with.” Jisung continued, giving Jihoon some soothing pats on the back as he spoke. “Family is who cares for you at the end of the day, no matter what - not even when you’re a stubborn little shit with a concussion.”

 

Jihoon snorted despite the situation he was in. Jisung rarely cussed.

 

“And we love you, Jihoonie.” Jisung gave the boy a hug. 

 

Jihoon slowly sat up to give Jisung an appreciative hug. He didn’t expect a simple hug to turn on the waterworks again. He ended up sobbing into Jisung’s sweater and apologizing repeatedly. 

 

“Aww, Jihoonie,” Jisung tuts, patting the boy on the back. “Daniel was just tired, okay? He’s been working so many shifts lately, and he’s been extremely worried about you lately. Did you know that he paid for most of the hospital bill?”

 

Jihoon was still sniffling. “Didn’t he use his money for Seongwoo-hyung?” 

 

“He had to make sure you were safe first,” Jisung replied. “I swear, that boy should just tell you.” 

 

“Tell me what?”

  
  


***

  
  


“It was a terrible accident,” Seongwoo continued with his story as Daniel sat on the chair across his bed. He was lucky the construction management didn’t assign his room to another worker in the three weeks he was out. “I thought that was the end for me.”

 

“You...fell down?” 

 

“Two floors,” Seongwoo raised two fingers as he continued munching on the sandwich they got from a local convenience store. The brothers had been talking since midnight, and it was nearly dawn. “I was stupid - worked overtime, came into work despite not having enough sleep, and didn’t wear the safety harness.”

 

“You know what they say about that moment when you know you’re about to die? How life flashes before your eyes? It happens really quickly.”  Seongwoo took a gulp of water as Daniel looked at him intently, waiting for the story to continue. “I saw the sky, then I saw mom and dad. And then I saw your face the last time before we lost you. And I regretted so many things.” 

 

“Long story short, dear brother,” Seongwoo finished, crumpling the sandwich wrapper he was holding and throwing it into the garbage bin beside Daniel, “I fell mercifully into a soft landing bag that one of the other workers forgot to pack up.”

 

“Isn’t that anti-climactic?” Daniel scoffed, a smile pulling at his lips at how typical it was for Seongwoo to lean towards the dramatic and then end with a punchline of sorts. 

 

“The point of me telling you that story, you ungrateful cow,” Seongwoo aimed a light punch at his younger brother. “Is that life’s too short to have regrets. And you’re definitely regretting what you said to Jihoonie.” 

 

“How is that the point of the story?” Daniel rubbed at his shoulder. 

“I had a renewed sense of urgency to find you after that fall,” Seongwoo admitted. “That was why I had new posters printed out, and that’s what led me to finding you.” 

 

Daniel still seemed to be missing his point, so Seongwoo sighs and spells it out in big, bold, letters. 

 

“Tell him you love him before you lose him.” 

  
  


***

  
  


Daniel arrives back at the apartment early in the morning. 

 

He finds Jihoon sitting down on the couch with one of Jaehwan’s eyemasks over his eyes. The doctor did advise him to avoid bright spaces. 

 

Daniel wanted to walk over, apologize, give Jihoon a hug, tell him everything is alright, thank him for what he did, and promise him the world. Serve him his heart on a pink plate. Tell him he loved him and they were a family.

 

The problem was he didn’t know how. So Daniel does none of these things, and walked silently into their shared room.

 

He spent the next few days training - inside the gym, at the apartment rooftop, running laps around their neighborhood and its tortuous uneven terrain and abundance of stairs - all under the guise of preparing hard for his first prizefighting match.

 

It was a reasonable justification, and he felt proud for using the match as an excuse because it was actually valid. But everytime he went on his morning jogs or while he was practicing his jabs and crosses at the rooftop - he knew deep inside that he still had no idea how to tell Jihoon exactly how he felt.

 

Jihoon, on the other hand, felt no need to explain himself to anyone. Thinking about Kang Daniel felt oddly selfish for him, so he focused on obeying Jisung’s instructions to get better, and doing small acts of kindness for Jaehwan despite the older boy’s tendency to make fun of him for being nice. 

 

Family didn’t seem like a distant word after all, but he knew he terribly missed one of the members.

 

***

 

By the end of the first week of their dongsaengs ignoring each other, Jaehwan wanted to lock them up in their room to force them to cooperate like one of those escape games. And he would’ve succeeded too - if Jisung didn’t catch him trying to block the doorway with the couch and the dining table.

 

“Give them time, Jaehwan!” Jisung hissed, hitting him on the head with a loaf of bread.

 

“This awkward tension is ruining my vibe,” Jaehwan pouted, putting the couch back where it belonged. “All the customers at the bar nowadays request Adele’s and Sam Smith’s. There is a limit to how much sadness you can inject into me!”

 

“If you want to force them to make up, take Jihoonie with you to the gym this afternoon.” Jisung shot a knowing smile at Jaehwan. “Tell him it’s so he can watch Woojin practice. The doctor said he should be fine to move around by now.”

 

“Why would I want to put Park and Park together?” Jaehwan scrunched his face in confusion.    
  


Jisung rolled his eyes. “Just...just do it.”

  
  


***

 

“I just need someone to help me carry my brush,” Jaehwan explained lamely, as Jihoon marched behind him. “These hands are delicate, you know?” 

 

Jihoon blew the hair from his forehead as he pulled his sweater’s hood up. It was his first day out of the house in a week and he honestly did not want to go back to the gym just yet. He knew he was out to appreciate Jaehwan a lot more now, but the older boy was seriously making this difficult.

 

“Also Woojin might need your advice,” Jaehwan added as they turned at a corner to get to the gym. Jihoon brightened up a bit at this. He did enjoy talking with Woojin about boxing.

 

What he wasn’t expecting was to see Daniel sparring alone in the middle of the ring after Jaehwan opened the door. The lights were dim, and Coach wasn’t around. It was just Daniel and his terrible form. 

 

Jaehwan took the brush from Jihoon’s hand and quickly pushed the boy in. “I just remembered I had to run some errands,” Jaehwan’s book of lame excuses was once again used as he ran in the opposite direction from the gym.

 

Daniel barely noticed their arrival as he continued shadowboxing in the middle of the ring, breath huffing out with each punch. He was hopping nimbly around the ring, but not as fast as Jihoon. The room was silent save for Daniel’s exertions, and Jihoon watched intently. 

 

After a few minutes, Daniel turned around to pick up the water bottle at the edge of the ring, only to see Jihoon at the doorway. If he had more time to think, he would’ve kept his mouth shut to avoid conversation, but he was taken aback by the sudden appearance.

 

“Jihoonie?” 

 

Jihoon swallowed, a bit nervous at their first interaction in days. 

 

“Daniel-hyung.” 

 

Jihoon couldn’t spin on his heels and leave - that would be undignified. He couldn’t stay frozen in the same spot forever, either. So he takes several steps forward.

 

There was an awkward moment between the two, with only the soft sounds of Daniel’s panting echoing across the darkened gym. He took a deep breath and decided to spell out what he wanted to say as quickly as he could - like taking off a band-aid.

 

“Jihoon, I-”

 

“Your rear hook is all wrong.”

 

“Huh?” 

 

Jihoon quickly looked away. “I said, the form of your rear hook is wrong. You need to start off higher, like pulling on a resistance band.”

 

“I - well, I - could use some help with that.” Daniel hesitated, finding a way to start a less awkward conversation with Jihoon. 

 

“Isn’t Coach coming in toda-” Jihoon countered, still unsure if Daniel wanted to make up already despite days of ignoring each other.

 

“From you.”  Daniel quickly offered. “I was hoping you could help me.”

 

Jihoon looked up to see Daniel’s face break into a half-smile.

 

“After all, you’re my favorite boxer.” Daniel grinned now, and Jihoon couldn’t help but reciprocate with a smile of his own.

 

“You’re lucky my arm is in a cast right now or I’d have you KO’d for being such a horrible liar,” Jihoon shot back, feeling a wave of relief washing over him as they settled back into their familiar conversation. 

 

And that was how Jihoon found himself instructing Daniel on combos he could use inside the ring, when to weave and when to feint, how to jump around the enemy while still throwing in some powerful punches. And to be honest - Daniel wasn’t all that bad. He’d be a worthy opponent inside the ring, Jihoon muses as Daniel quickly picked up on all his instructions.

 

After nearly two hours of training and conditioning, the pair sat on the side of the ring, gulping down bottles of water. 

 

The easy banter was back, and Jihoon was already comfortable with that. Daniel however, was not.

 

“I’m sorry, Hoonie.” he suddenly said out of nowhere, in the middle of a conversation about Jaehwan’s lame book of excuses. “For everything I said before. I didn’t mean i-” 

 

“It’s in the past, Daniel.” Jihoon gave a tentative smile back to the older boy as he wrapped one of his hands out of habit. “We were both...not thinking straight that time.” 

 

“But I almost lost you, and that’s what made me so worried,” Daniel continued, unable to stop now that he had started. 

 

Daniel breathed in before continuing sentences he had been rehearsing ofr days. “Seongwoo-hyung told me that life is too short for regrets. And I may forever regret it if I never tell you this,”

 

Jihoon braced himself for what was slowly shaping up to be a very unexpected confession from Kang Daniel. Not that it would be unwelcome.

 

“And I’ve been feeling this way for a while now, Jihoon. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve always been in lo-”

 

Jihoon suddenly held up a wrapped hand to Daniel’s mouth and quickly shushed him. “Ok, so this week only one of us is not thinking  _ straight, _ ” Jihoon interrupted before realizing how badly that sounded like a pun. 

 

Daniel burst out laughing, leading to Jihoon laughing along as well. He figured that if he laughed as hard, the color in his cheeks would hide the blush behind it. 

 

“Let’s talk about this again once you win this match,” Jihoon grinned, fanning himself with his hand. “Back in the ring, Kang.”

 

***

 

The next two weeks were training and life going back to normal, with the promise of getting even better. 

 

Jihoon tagged along whenever Daniel went in for training, and he enjoyed their walks back home afterward. Daniel would still ogle the motorbike (“It felt perfect,” he told  Jihoon as they passed. “I was half-dead when I rode it, Daniel, I wouldn’t know.” Jihoon responded with his usual snark.), Jihoon would still aim barbs at Woojin during training, Seongwoo would sometimes join the four for dinner with Minhyun in tow, and the only mark left of Jihoon being injured was his arm in a cast. 

 

What Jihoon enjoyed the most was how he would sometimes catch Daniel staring at him, or being caught by Daniel doing the same, or the way their hands would slightly touch as they walked home or sat on the couch at the apartment. He would still get his nightmares, but he would wake up and hear Jaehwan snoring a room away, or see Daniel peacefully sleeping across him, or simply remember Jisung’s hug - and it was enough to calm him down on most days. He still preferred climbing into Daniel’s bed, though - and despite the cramped space, Daniel preferred it too.

 

Within a few days, their entire friend group stood outside the prizefighting ring, waiting for Daniel’s turn. Jihoon and Coach were with him at the ringside, offering helpful last minute tips. 

 

“They never showed up for  _ my  _ matches,” Jihoon scoffed as he watched Daehwi and Guanlin taking photos of the venue from the corner of his eyes. 

 

“Maybe they like me more,” Daniel grinned, trying to ease the tension from his shoulders. 

 

“Nonsense,” Jihoon feigned insult as he held a hand across his chest. “Everyone knows I’m a more likable person.”

 

“Oh trust me, I would know,” Daniel smirked, aiming a light punch at Jihoon with a gloved hand.

 

“I told you, we talk after you  _ win _ this match.” Jihoon flushed. He was planning on telling Daniel how he felt himself, and no matter if Daniel won or lost - this would definitely be a good day.

 

Just then, a man passed by and handed Daniel a drink in a paper cup. “Energy water before the match?” The man offered, and Daniel accepted it gratefully, downing it in one go.

 

“Hell, I didn’t get energy drinks before my matches,” Jihoon scowled. “Why are you getting all the perks?”

 

Daniel had the audacity to wink at Jihoon before climbing up the ring as his name was called. His debut match. 

 

Jihoon watched proudly as Daniel spun around the ring against his opponent. The opponent was a big lug of a man, someone Jihoon would never be pitted against just because he’ll probably never make that weight category in this lifetime. The opponent looked like a heavy hitter, but was terribly slow. Coach grinned at Jihoon who knew what he was thinking -  _ this was a sure victory for Daniel.  _

 

By the end of the first round, Coach and Jihoon huddled to Daniel’s ringside. “You were perfect!” Coach shouted, giving several pats on Daniel’s shoulder. Jihoon helpfully doused Daniel with some cold water and pushed the bottle into his mouth as soon as he had the mouthguard off. 

 

“You can already get him down for the count on the second,” Jihoon encouraged, pushing Daniel back into the ring as the bell dinged to signal the start of the next round. “Kang Daniel, fighting!” 

 

What Daniel didn’t tell them during the precious few seconds he had on the sideline was that he had been feeling dizzy the moment he entered the ring. Half his battle was trying to keep his eyes focused on his opponent. 

 

As the second round started, his eyesight was already dimming, and his movements felt sluggish. Which gave his opponent the perfect target. 

 

Daniel swayed as he approached the opponent, trying to replay Jihoon’s instructions and combinations - but the thoughts came sluggish as well. 

 

BAM.

 

A clean right hook. Daniel fought to steady himself. Falling down was not an option, not when he had done a great job already during the first round. He threw a punch of his own - a strong cross - only to hit air and nearly tip forward. He could hear gasps from the crowd but wasn’t quite sure where to look.

 

BAM.

 

A jab directly on his face sent Daniel careening and almost losing balance again. He was supposed to feel pulsing pain, but all he could feel was numbness and his eyesight growing dimmer. He willed himself to move, skip around, dodge - but his body didn’t want to cooperate.

 

BAM.

 

Jihoon looked up from the ring in horror. There was most definitely something wrong. Daniel was standing there like a heavy bag, barely trying to avoid the hits that he was taking. He looked at Coach who was shouting angrily at the sudden turn of events.

 

That’s when it caught his eye - the man who handed Daniel the drink before he climbed into the ring. 

 

It was one of the guys from the pool hall. 

  
  


***

 

Daniel felt his face hit the mat and all he could comprehend was bright lights, loud noises, and his mouth slowly filling with the taste of blood. He didn’t know how many straight hits he took in just the second round. He sees the referee counting down, and he sees a flurry of white thrown in. 

 

There was a shout for medics, incomprehensible sounds from the crowd, and then he could see Jihoon’s face in front of him. He cracks a smile.

 

“Daniel, if you can hear me, come back,” Jihoon tries to keep Daniel awake. His eyes were unfocused and staring way past where Jihoon was kneeling in front of him, cradling his head in his arms. “Come back to me.” 

 

Jihoon looks around and screams again, “Medic!” 

 

Daniel reached out one hand and Jihoon led it to his cheek. “We’re going to be okay,” Jihoon sobbed, planting kisses on Daniel’s hands. 

 

“I can’t see you,” Daniel was smiling. “I’ve never told you, and I’m afraid I might never see your face again.” 

 

Smiling at nothing in particular and blinded by the heavy lights all around, Daniel whispered. “You’re beautiful.”

 

“Beautiful,” Jihoon repeated bitterly. He could feel Daniel slipping out of consciousness and he struggled with his words, and started asking questions he didn’t know he had inside him. “Why didn’t you tell me before? Why didn’t I know?”

 

Jihoon knew his questions remained unheard as Daniel’s eyes glossed over. 

 

“I love you. Don’t leave me,” Jihoon begged helplessly as he clutched Daniel in his arms tightly. In his mind, Jihoon saw his mother begging for his stepfather not to leave. He was a child then, he didn’t understand. His whole life he wanted to deny that past and wanted to write it off as his mother being selfish. 

 

_ But fate had a funny way of reminding you of your past _ , he thinks as he tightly held onto Daniel’s hand. “Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, Daniel, no, don’t go,” Jihoon mumbled his words like a prayer, and he roughly wiped away the tears that were threatening to blur his vision. 

 

He wanted to see Daniel clearly - wanted to make sure that those eyes don’t close, that the light of his life wouldn’t go off without a fight. The tears were making it very difficult.

 

One blink. One second, Daniel’s eyes were looking right at him, and the next, those same eyes were closed. All in the span of one blink.

 

All Jihoon could hear afterwards was the sound of his own screaming as the medics arrived and he was pulled off of Daniel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand that's a cliffhanger ;____;
> 
> Wrote this quickly so might need to edit after I read through it again when I find the time ;;;; 
> 
> Particularly long chapter because there are a lot of things to tie up - I kept thinking how to deal with the Ong fall from the Beautiful MV but it would take away from the depth of the Nielwink narrative. AND I BELIEVE ONG LIVED THROUGH THAT SO LET ME BE THIS IS MY HEADCANON
> 
> Epilogue coming up next! Comments and kudos always very much appreciated pls dont kill me I don't write angst very often!


	7. Epilogue: To Be One

The sun was barely up and the flowers that lined the path were still bathed with dewdrops, their waking hours rudely interrupted by the soft tread of black rubber shoes against early morning grass. There was no other sound except for the soft songs of a faraway nest of nightingales, and Jihoon found that he was the sole visitor today - a bunch of wildflowers clutched tightly against his chest as he approached the marbled memorial. 

 

His footsteps stopped just a foot away from the headstone, with a name freshly etched on it along with an epitaph:  _ Loved fiercely, and was loved in turn.  _

 

Jihoon wiped away the leaves that had fallen on top of the marble, carefully putting the makeshift bouquet he had beside the name he had always been too familiar with. The name he cried out too often in the middle of the night.

 

If he had more time this morning he would have brought a bottle of soju and toasted in memory; he may have given a speech about how sometimes we find reconciliation a bit too late; how we never really have all the time in the world to make things right. How understanding comes much later than we want it. 

 

“I want to hate you, but I can’t,” Jihoon whispered as he stood up. “I wish we had more time together - maybe I could have known you more. And maybe you could have learned to love me somehow.”

 

He would’ve worded the words on the headstone differently if it were up to him. But he wasn’t there when it was created, he wasn’t there for the burial, he barely even knew about the passing until many months after.

 

In the end, he had no choice but to agree with the epitaph - after all, his mother did love fiercely. And no matter how much he wanted to deny it and how many times he tried to push her out of his heart, he knew he loved his mother. And there may always be an empty space in his heart that will never be occupied by anyone else. 

 

“But thank you for bringing me into this world,” Jihoon continued, tapping his foot in the grass and fixing his necktie. “I’m graduating today.” Jihoon thought it was a bit awkward talking to someone who will never answer back, but maybe she was proud of him now. “I love someone now, too. May I love as fiercely as you did, Mom.”

 

***

 

Jihoon could never figure out which way was the right turn - ever since his hyungs moved out of their old apartment into a better district, Jihoon would get lost twice before ending up at the right address. It was still very early in the morning, even the neighborhood bakery hadn’t begun to set up shop and there was barely anyone walking around to ask directions from.

 

He huffed as he readjusted the huge backpack he was carrying. He had moved out of the college dorms last night (after a wild farewell party his roommates threw in his honor), and he wanted to surprise the hyungs by moving in and chipping in on the rent. 

 

“I’m lost,” he grumbled, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk. He stopped for a while to take a break on the pavement, tiredly sitting down and disregarding how this ruined his pristine dress shirt-and-slacks ensemble for the day. And he had wanted to wear this attire for the graduation this evening.

 

Just then, a police patrol car turned the curb and almost passed him; only to back up and for the officer sitting on the passenger seat to open the door.

 

“Lost again, Jihoonie?” Seongwoo’s familiar grin leaned over to face him. Jihoon quickly dusted himself off and stood up, bowing politely. “Seongwoo-hyung!” 

 

He spotted Minhyun on the driver’s seat. “And Minhyun-hyung!”

 

“That’s  _ Officer Ong _ and  _ Officer Hwang _ to you, young man,” Seongwoo clacked his tongue, putting a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder.

 

“Early start, Hoonie?” Minhyun called over as he casually saluted from within the vehicle.

 

“I was trying to get home,” Jihoon explained, ears getting red at getting lost again. “But I still haven’t gone home enough to remember the directions. This neighborhood is too swanky.”

 

“You prefer the old dump you used to live in?” Seongwoo laughed. “ _ College graduate living in the slums _ does somehow sound poetic.” 

 

“Jisung-hyung’s getting old, we can’t have him going up and down stairs in the old area,” Jihoon said with exaggerated concern, slinging his backpack on.

 

“Well, now that Jaehwan’s a singing superstar he should be able to rake in a decent amount of money to afford the rent,” Seongwoo continued, leaning back on the police car as Minhyun was talking to someone over the radio. “I even saw him on TV once.”

 

“Well Jisung-hyung’s been doing ridiculously well in the daycare business as well,” Jihoon agreed. “They deserve the better place I guess, but I hope it wasn’t in the middle of a maze of streets.” 

 

“Ong, we’ve got a minor situation downtown,” Minhyun reached over from his seat to call over. 

 

“Roger that,” Seongwoo replied, and Jihoon found it unnatural when Seongwoo actually acted like a professional. The taller boy opened the backseat door, “Hop on in, Jihoon, we’ll drop you off since it’s on the way.”

 

“It’s really no trouble, I’ll find my way-”

 

“Get in, Jihoon, or I’ll cuff you and recite your rights,” Seongwoo deadpanned, and Jihoon got inside the car as quickly as he could. 

 

***

 

Jihoon fumbled with the keys when he got to the front door of the apartment. He almost got lost getting to this floor as well - but it was a pleasant surprise that this apartment actually had a functioning elevator. Talk about the lap of luxury. He had even seen Daniel’s bike parked haphazardly outside the apartment entrance.

 

He had several bad attempts at opening the door before it was opened from the inside. Jisung was about to angrily tell off a delivery guy when he catches a glimpse of Jihoon’s chocolate brown hair. He makes a mute gasp before attempting to close the door in Jihoon’s face.

 

“Jisung-hyu-” 

 

“We’re not having any!” 

 

The door slammed in JIhoon’s face and he wondered if he got the right address after all. But that was definitely Jisung who opened the door. Only his hyung was acting suspicious.

 

Jihoon fiddled with the keys again, this time managing to get the door slightly ajar before Jisung put his entire weight on it.

 

“Jisung-hyung, let me in!” 

 

“I’m busy...fixing the toilet!” Jisung was definitely grabbing at excuses, trying hard to push back on the door to get it closed again. He should’ve hooked the door stop as soon as he was able. 

 

With one final push, Jihoon was able to get Jisung out of the way and was finally able to step into the apartment. 

 

“Really, hyung. Did you forget how much boxing and conditioning I had years ago?” Jihoon stretched his muscles as he let his huge backpack fall to the ground. “Now would you mind explaining why you were trying to keep me ou-”

 

“I forgot I have work today, goodbye! And tell Niel I’m sorry!” Jisung grabbed a bag and headed out of the apartment, still wearing his indoor slippers. 

 

Jihoon scratched his head at what was the weirdest welcome of his life. Soft snores were coming out of the room down the hall, bringing a smile to Jihoon’s face. Jaehwan hadn’t changed. 

 

He carefully removed his shoes and placed them at the entrance, before quietly walking over to the room he shared with Daniel whenever he came over to visit. 

 

He had spent the past three years living in the college dorms, visiting whenever he was able - but for the most part, Daniel dropped by the university. Daniel himself took a few courses to spend more time with JIhoon, but he was mostly preoccupied with helping out at the daycare. Jihoon thought the job was a perfect fit for his hyung - he genuinely enjoyed playing with the kids, who adored their giant playmate in equal measure. 

 

Daniel never changed from the sweet boy who had welcomed him back when they were all at the orphanage.

 

Turning the doorknob, Jihoon realized why Jisung had been behaving strangely. Daniel’s huge frame was strewn all over the floor, covered in glitter and art supplies. There were garlands, banners, gold foil balloons all blown up - and at first, Jihoon thought that it was for his work at the daycare, until his eyes caught upon the words indelibly marked on each and every art project on the floor:  _ Congratulations graduate, Park Jihoon!  _

 

Jihoon felt a smile creep on his lips and warmth traveling down his body as he made his way to Daniel, who was now grinding his teeth.  _ The big baby even forgot to put on his mouthguard _ , Jihoon thought, finding it adorable.

 

When Jihoon tried to fix the position of Daniel’s neck so it wouldn’t hurt later, the bigger boy jolted awake and nearly screamed. 

 

“What are you doing here!” Daniel nearly screeched, attempting to hide all the art supplies around him. Jihoon almost laughed because there were still pieces of art paper stuck on the boy’s hair. 

 

“That’s how you welcome your boyfriend back?” Jihoon sat on the floor beside Daniel, putting on a fake pout. “And here I thought you’d be happy we’re finally roommates again.” 

 

Daniel paused for a moment, looking at Jihoon and his adorable pout, and gave out a sigh. “It was supposed to be a surprise for later, Jihoonie,” he whined, and Jihoon found it endearing. He wondered if he acted this way around the preschoolers, and if this was the secret why he got along with them so well.

 

“I would have gotten here later if your brother didn’t find me wandering the streets,” Jihoon said. “He said they’ll drop by this evening, they got some good news on the case against the thugs from the billiard hall.” 

 

The “thugs from the billiard hall” felt like a lifetime ago, but Jihoon was glad that Seongwoo’s personal grudge against them for beating Jihoon up and drugging his younger brother was going to be settled once and for all after years of hard work.

 

When Daniel still looked like an abandoned puppy at the sight of his hard work turning into a botched surprise, Jihoon added, “I love the surprise.”

 

Daniel perked up. “Really?”

 

“This is probably the second best surprise of my life,” Jihoon nodded, inching closer to Daniel. 

 

“Second?” Daniel scoffed, racking his brain for any surprises he’d given Jihoon lately - and his expression turned sour at the possibility that it could have been someone from college who surprised Jihoon more.

 

“The first was when you woke up from that boxing match years back,” Jihoon put his arms around Daniel and sat on the bigger boy’s lap. “I thought I was going to lose you back then, and we didn’t even get to do this.”

 

Jihoon leaned over and caught Daniel’s lips, surprising the older boy for a few seconds before Daniel started kissing back. Jihoon missed this - the feeling of having Daniel so close.

 

Breaking the kiss, Daniel whispered as he leaned his forehead against Jihoon’s, “I thought kisses were only for special occasions?” 

 

“It’s a thank you for the surprise,” Jihoon smiled, “Both the first and the second.” 

 

“I should keep surprising you, then,” Daniel smiled back, kissing Jihoon another time. 

 

The kisses turned to laughter, and the laughter turned into two boys having a tickle fight in the middle of glitter and art supplies. 

 

It had been a long time since Daniel listened to the old cassette tape with his favorite songs, laced with his favorite memories. Remembering the music still brought him back to dancing in the living room with his family - something he could do again; playing with his older brother - which he often did nowadays; the great times at the orphanage surrounded by his newfound family and friends - whom he sees a lot lately. 

 

But for some reason, without any music player, without any cassette tape - the songs and their familiar melodies would play loudly in his head whenever he looked at the beautiful eyes of the boy who lay laughing beneath him, threatening him with a handful of glitter if he didn’t get off. 

 

It was indeed a beautiful life ahead, if the warmth, the color, and the glitter around them was any indication of what was yet to come.

 

Daniel paused for a moment as he pulled Jihoon up and into an embrace, whispering in between smiles, “So beautiful.”

 

“Beautiful,” Jihoon hummed in agreement, burying his face in Daniel’s warmth as the two enjoyed the moment together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! 
> 
> Until the very end I was wondering if it would have been a happy ending or an angst overload ending - then I recalled that Nothing Without You was a prequel to all the happiness and good vibes of To Be One.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the story, even if it only started out as a personal attempt to make sense of the Beautiful MV and not make it as confusing and heartbreaking as it was! Thank you for all the lovely comments and for staying by this fic :') Your words motivate me to write more Nielwink xD
> 
> See you in other fics!

**Author's Note:**

> Just needed to get this out of my system - but I'm looking forward to how other fic writers will write backstories for the Beautiful MV! (Please tell me someone is working on a fic for it because HONESTLY I NEED CLOSURE)
> 
> I might change some parts from the video because we all deserve Ong in a police uniform; so far this fic has an open ending~!
> 
> Sneaking this in before continuing to write I Like You a Latte so I can flush out all the feels I got from the MV (check it out if you're desperately in need of simple lighthearted Nielwink)!


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